Comfort and Joy

I've heard a lot about comfort and joy recently. After all, it is that time of year.

But, as I've stood in candlelight services and sung Christmas carols with family and friends I've been aware of the irony. Though we sing about bright lights and silent babies, I can't get out of my mind the facts of the biblical Christmas story. For it seems, we've strayed quite a bit from what actually happened.


For one thing, Mary, Joseph, and those poor shepherds must have been really freaked out what with angel visitations, strange dreams/prophesies, and signs that a baby was on its way. I know the angel said "Have no fear," but really? How would you react when some man appears to you out of nowhere?


And no room in the inn has become nothing more than a cute saying to us. Though I'm sure at the time not having a place to stay while Mary was bursting at the seams ready to give birth would have been stressful. Animals and a manger may make nice nativity scenes for us to sell in stores and put in our front yards, but a stable is really no place for a newborn baby. Just think about what it must have smelled like!


Christmas comes with lots of talk about peace on Earth and joy to all men, but what has hit me hard this year is this:


In order for us to have comfort, and the entire reason we can talk seriously about those themes, is because Jesus was willing to sacrifice His own comfort. Of course He was a special child, but He grew up knowing His purpose was to die.


And with that knowledge He was born into discomfort, cried as a baby, and took the weight of the world on His shoulders.


Peace on Earth?
Yeah, there will be.

'Tis The Season...

-For midnight caffeine fixes to aid in the cramming
-For giant blow up snow globes and bright lights
-For white salt residue on your pant legs
-For slipping on ice and catching flakes on your tongue
-For predicting the endings of Falalala Lifetime movies
-For mini marshmallows floating in seas of hot chocolate
-For too much peppermint and red and white stripes
-For twinkletoes and little toy makers
-For shaking presents and guessing games
-For an old jolly man to check his list twice
-For spreading joy and cheesy jingles
-For sentimental wishes, hopes, and dreams

-And most of all for one gift sent long ago, that makes the rest of this list worth celebrating too.

Christmas 2009 is almost here!

Before the Fall

There's always that moment before something bad happens.

That moment where time slows and you think to yourself, "Is there anything I can do to make this better?" The moment when you almost feel super-human, but are still very much aware of the fact that you're not. That moment in which you are both strangely relaxed and extremely anxious. The moment when you know that all you can do is wait for the fall.


Wait and wonder how bad it'll actually be once you hit the ground.


There's always that moment before something bad happens.

The Randomness of My Mind

*Otherwise known as the thoughts I've been thinking recently*

A list:
~We've all grown up with people in our lives and have been taught from an early age how friendship is supposed to work. However, it always surprises me how little I really know about how to make friends. Sometimes people come into my life and will not leave. Other times they pass in and out of my days (like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in that You've Got Mail montage) without ever staying put long enough for me to say more than hi. There are the people I really want to get to know but can never seem to connect with and others who give me all the time in the world. Relationships are messy, confusing, and frustrating, but are also one of the greatest gifts God has given us. Take advantage of them -no matter what level your friendships are at!


~Why do I ALWAYS have the travel bug? Honestly, though I love Taylor to death, my mind is always traveling to other places. I guess that's what happens to you when your parents decide to drag your kid self to the other side of the ocean... you never really come back. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) It doesn't help that half the girls on the wing are growing excited about J-term and study abroad trips and that my parents and sister are traveling a ton this month!


~Africa grabbed a piece of my heart unexpectedly during high school. Every once in a while, like today in chapel, it continues to excite me. But I never know quite what to do with the nagging.


~I hate how Thanksgiving is so close to Christmas Break. How do they seriously expect us to come back from eating turkeys with our families, only to concentrate for a couple weeks, turn and go all the way home again?! All I can say is Canadians do it right!


~Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson have an awesome album out called Break Up. Buy it, give it to friends, and listen your ears off. Yeah, it's that worth it : )


~I want to bring my current church (Exit 59 for those of you wondering) with me when I graduate. I love the preaching style, the energy, and the young leaders there and wish I had the time (and transportation) it takes to get more involved. Sadly, I don't. But I hope wherever I end up in Futureland that there's a church like Exit.


That's all I've got in me at the moment. More wanderings next time.

She Took Some and Ate It... and Will Again

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do -this I keep on doing." - Paul, Romans 7:15, 17-19


Just as Paul says, I'm conflicted. On a daily basis I see two laws at work. The law of sin and God's law are constantly waging war against my soul. My heart and head both know what's right, but over and over again I reach out and pick the fruit. That stupid forbidden fruit that floods my life with a bitter taste. Yet I take the bite, and tomorrow I'll take another. The poison is now so deeply rooted in my being that it continues to spread. Quickly. When I am surrounded by a garden of plenty, I still want more. When the One I trust most says no, I still say yes. And this is my strongest fear, my greatest pain: that I would know the truth, but live a lie. Owning the key to freedom, but staying comfortably in my prison.


Until the day I rot.

10 Books That Mean Something

A while ago I wrote a post about songs that mean something to me. I think it's about time for another list like that, so here are my thoughts on 10 books.

~"Here's to Hindsight" by Tara Leigh Cobble: This memoir really came out of nowhere. Although Cobble is a pretty well-known Christian singer/songwriter, I had never heard of the book. It actually just happened to catch my eye one day at the bookstore and I ended up buying it. The easy-going conversation feel to each page caught my interest instantly and I could relate to the stories and lessons Tara shares. It has become one of my favorites that I would (and do) gladly share with friends.


~"Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck: I've said this before and I'll say it again: I never knew that sounding manly and poetic at the same time was possible, but Steinbeck proves it is. I'm a big fan as I could pretty much love anything he's written.


~"Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" by Ann Brashares: Cheesy, I know, but I can't help but love this series. Brashares captures the heart of friendship and creates characters who are well-developed and easy to love.


~"Boy in the Striped Pajamas" by John Boyne: I can't say too much about the plot line since it's better if you don't know before you start reading this. So, all I will say is that it got me thinking about an old topic in a new way. The ending is amazing and even though I never cry while reading, this book made me tear up.


~"The Giver" by Louis Lowery: Best utopian novel I've ever read! It kept me guessing and turning pages. Plus, it's kid friendly : )


~"Perelandra" by C.S. Lewis: As Lewis is one of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time, it's difficult to choose just one book of his to put on this list. However, this is the one I'd have to say right now. Though I hated "Out of the Silent Planet," the first in this science trilogy, this one is amazing. The reason I know this: I read it over half a year ago and I still think about it on a daily basis.


~"Nocturne" by Adam Rapp: A play that was pretty much the highlight of my summer. It's a sad story and not really that strong plot-wise, but I absolutely loved Rapp's writing. This is a man who understands the power of words.


~"Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson: Not a book I necessarily recommend because of its subject, but it was a well-written, haunting story that has stuck with me.


~"Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott: Best book on writing I've ever read, and believe me, I've read quite a few!


~"Blue Like Jazz" (and really any other book) by Donald Miller: He is a conversationalist who I honestly feel like I know. Miller makes difficult topics seem simple and says simple things in deep ways. Definitely worth your time, even when you don't agree with everything!


There's my list. What books are on yours?

Who Is Your Neighbor?

I am the human waking up each morning in a house just like yours. I am the baby crying in the stroller you passed on the sidewalk. I am the restless teenager searching for meaning and the teacher attempting to open eyes. I’m the tired and the dreaming, the lazy and the bored. I am the one working hard to get what I want -money, attention, power. I am the longing. The single mom living in constant chaos. The soldier risking life in a far off land. The business man sitting in an office day in and day out. I am the poor, the oppressed, the rich, and greedy. I am the man you pass by every day without noticing. The struggling artist settling for quantity instead of quality. I am the quiet and the humble, the bold and outspoken. I am the sick. I am the girl walking your campus halls alone. The guy you think has it all together. I am the loving and the unloved. The peaceful and the impatient. I am one who thinks I’m not enough. I am the broken. The sinful.

And yet... I'm the one He loves. The created being. The unique, blameless, and blessed. I am the cared for and the righteous. He died for me.

Who is your neighbor? I am.

Thoughts on Images

"Not my idea of God, but God. Not my idea of H., but H. Yes, and also not my idea of my neighbor, but my neighbor. For don't we often make this mistake as regards people who are still alive -who are with us in the same room? Talking and acting not to the man himself but to the picture -almost the precis- we've made of him in our own minds? And he has to depart from it pretty widely before we even notice the fact. In real life -that's one way it differs from novels- his words and acts are, if we observe closely, hardly ever quite 'in character,' that is, in what we call his character. There's always a card in his hand we didn't know about." - A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis
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Is it possible to miss someone more when they are right beside you than when they’re gone? When they are exactly where you’ve wished for them to be for so long, but something’s missing. When you’re close enough, you could reach out and touch them, but you don’t. And the words you’ve recited over and over again in your mind won’t come. Is it possible to long so deeply for closeness with someone that you will always be disappointed with your actual distance? When no one lives up to the standards in your dreams and all that you find when you look around are broken images.
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"Everyone is senseless and without knowledge; every goldsmith is shamed by his idols. His images are a fraud; they have no breath in them." - Jeremiah 10:14 (NIV)
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This summer I went to a dance show at Millennium Park in Chicago. The dancers were amazing artists who performed well and were a pleasure to watch. I sat with my mom and sister in one of the front rows, but when we got up to leave a bit early, something caught my attention: a huge crowd of people were sitting in front of the large screen set up for people to see better from a distance. However, these people were not far from the actual stage, in fact turning their heads a little to the left would have given them a great view. Instead of enjoying the real thing, these fans preferred mere images.
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"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation." - Colossians 1:15 (NIV)
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We have seen the true Image, why settle for worshipping anything less?

I Feel Most Myself When...

~ I am snuggled into the backseat of a mini van with headphones in

~ There are photos of friends and family nearby

~ I am at Malenovice during a Josiah Venture conference

~ Donald Miller, C.S. Lewis, John Steinbeck, and Ann Brashares books are on my shelf

~ Walking the loop around campus with my roommate

~ Watching Elizabethtown, Dan in Real Life, old sit-com reruns, or Lost

~ I'm a part of a large crowd and can observe other people

~ I am drinking a Tazo Passion Shaken Iced Tea at Starbucks

~ Listening to The Weepies, John Mayer, The Fray, Regina Spektor, or Missy Higgins

~ Swimming laps or ice skating

~ Writing poems late at night

~ I am wearing my Rocket Dogs, a hoodie, and jeans

~ Walking on cobblestone roads and eating a caramel Magnum ice cream bar

~ Splitting a piece of Adam's Peanut Butter Ripple Cheesecake with my brother

~ Helping my mom make cereal snacks or Swedish hardbread

~ Worshiping God at a church with stained glass windows and old steeples

~ People around me are speaking different languages or at least have accents

~ Shopping on the Magnificent Mile in Chicago

~ Sitting in the audience of a play (especially when my sister is in it)

~ Studying something new that challenges the way I think

A Day Like Today

On a day like today the weather decides to calm down and give us what we love about Fall. Waking up early to go to breakfast feels more like a treat than a chore. The test in that surprisingly challenging class is ready to be aced and the scarf you threw on this morning gets you a lot of compliments. You have enough free time to get ahead in your homework, to mark tasks off of your to-do list, and even watch a cheesy movie on YouTube. The emails in your inbox give you the opportunities to serve others, attend fun events, and hang out with your wing. The weekend is coming and although you have nothing planned you know it'll be a good one. Work is slow, but the time goes fast anyway because people you haven't seen for a while come by to chat. Meals in the cafeteria are better than normal and the group at your table makes you laugh. The semester is in full swing, you should be tired but aren't, and Fall Break is coming soon! On a day like today, I'm happy that it's Fall.

How the Mighty Have Fallen

How the mighty have fallen In this age of relativity
On the battlegrounds of laziness
The careless have won
With an air of tolerance
The ignorant make peace
Believing in almost anything
While the fearful and weak
Spew their unlawful lies
At anyone who listens
And the innocent fight
Though not as they seem
Digging whitewashed tombs
In seas of green
Scorned by the shrill,
The grand, and the wise
Are those who seek attention
In another's eyes
Here's to the death
Of truth, love; God
Such a year when
The mighty have fallen

A Story on Comfort

Once upon a time, in a land very much like the one outside your window, there was a girl named Hallie. Hallie was your average teenager in the twenty-first century who surfed the net too often, read People magazine, and listened to Rihanna on the radio.

However, one thing made her different than others -she lived on a couch. It wasn't that she didn't have a real home. She did. And it wasn't that she had health issues. She didn't. And it definitely wasn't that the couch was magical or somewhat out of the ordinary. It wasn't. In fact, Hallie's mom had talked of getting rid of it for ages. But the puffy brown couch still sat taunting Hallie whenever she stepped off it to go to school or get something to eat.

So, there Hallie sat most of the time. As days turned to months and summer to winter. There she sat as her brother graduated from high school and her dad got promoted. She knew this couch inside and out. Sometimes, when everyone else was asleep she would turn over its pillows or take them off completely. Yet she would always put them back on and continue to sit.

She sat there through her parents' failed attempts at bribery and her sister's pleas to come play. When her dog got hit by a car, she sat hugging a pillow instead of Sparky. While her sister was on her first date, Hallie swung her feet with thoughts of love. And when a classmate invited her to a party, she went home and sat instead.

And that is where this story ends. On a couch inside a house. There Hallie spent her life.

At least she was comfortable.

Questions On My Mind

- Why can't I get Oxford out of my head, no matter what I do?



- What will it take for me to pass French?


- Who should I invest in this year?


- What do I still have to learn at Taylor?


- Where am I going next?


- Who is coming with me? : )

Dear Taylor Student

Dear Taylor Student (you can put your name here),

As I begin my senior year here in the cornfields, I'm prone to reflect back on what I've learned during my college years so far and look forward to the lessons I'll still learn before I leave. Maybe you are like me, with only one year left to take advantage of Taylor's many opportunities. Or you might be a freshman, like my brother, not knowing what God has in store for your next four years or even the next four days. Whether you fall into one of these categories or find yourself somewhere in between, these are the lessons I hope you and I will both learn before we graduate.


I hope you learn that living life together is much better than living life alone. That in spite of the difficulties that come with relationships, they're worth it. God made us for community. I hope you find that while here on campus. That through meals, wing events, small groups, and spontaneous bursts of energy you will see God in others. That you get a lot out of community and give back even more.


I hope you learn more about who you are while at Taylor. That through getting involved in student leadership you learn how to be a leader. That you figure out where you are going and help others to get there with you. I hope you attend chapels and find a local church. That you might base your identity on Christ alone and not on the brand names of our culture or the stereotypes of society. I hope you challenge yourself daily as a Christ follower, student, classmate, and friend.


I hope you learn what's important to you. Prioritizing well when the busyness of life tries to pull you down. That you place value on what God values and that when the time comes to stand up for your beliefs your faith does not waver. I hope you find what you are passionate about and never let it go. That you use your talents and shape your gifts. And that you live it all to the glory of God.


Most of all, I hope you learn that you are loved. That no matter where you go in life after college, you will never be alone. That whatever problems life throws at you, they aren't nearly as big as the One who created you. I hope you know that this life is not the end. That you learn to live with heaven in mind and take time to see God's beauty while still on earth.


I hope you learn all this and more during your time at Taylor.


Love and blessings as you begin another school year,
Amy

10 Songs That Mean Something

Okay, so it's about time for another list. Since music has been on my mind recently, here are 10 songs that mean something to me (in no particular order).

~ "Plain" by Zoegirl: A good reminder about beauty and self image from my first favorite band ever.


~ "Whenever You Remember" by Carrie Underwood: Here's to my childhood memories and the friends of my past. It was fun while it lasted!


~ "Looking for the Holes" by Ani DiFranco: The perfect inspiration to get off the couch and do something from a poet I admire.


~ "You Found Me" by The Fray: An overplayed plea for help that still puts a smile on my face every time I hear it.


~ "Think of You" by A Fine Frenzy: The song for those in my thoughts, miles away.


~ "A Movie Script Ending" by Death Cab for Cutie: Great road trip song, enough said.


~ "Season" by Jenny and Tyler: Sung by two truly genuine artists who don't get the credit they deserve.


~ "Instead of a Show" by Jon Foreman: I love how Foreman's lyrics come right from Scripture. And this song sums up what I feel about the church most of the time these days.


~ "For My Love" by Bethany Dillon: One of the most honest love songs I've ever heard. Plus, I had to have Bethany on this list for old time's sake.


~ "Thinking Over" by Dana Glover: I've never been in love, but when I am I imagine my thought process will go something like this. It's how I already make all of my other decisions.


So, there you have it. Now I'd like to hear your list.


*Disclaimer: Music is such a huge and influential part of life, we don't always even realize what a major role it plays. Because this is so true in my own life, I had trouble picking only ten songs and there are many more that could be added to this list.*

To the Ones Left Behind

Breathing in

Shapes of you

To fill my empty soul

I love, I long

To cover up

This now familiar hole

Goodbye Colorado

No more mountains for me : (

Lessons Learned in Colorado

So, I've been in Colorado for a month now. I'll be sad to leave it on Monday, but I won't be leaving without taking some lessons with me. Here's what I've learned at MTI, Focus on the Family, and everywhere in between over the past few weeks.

~ Big change becomes normal soon enough. Funny how that works, but this fact gives me peace every time I think about graduating next spring.


~ I'm in love with words. I guess I've always known this, but it's nice to be reminded every once and a while.


~ Colorado sky could keep me excited for life. The clouds, stars, rainbows, colors.... Who cares about the mountains? The sky is freakin' awesome!


~ Driving isn't as difficult as I initially thought. As long as I have enough gas, a Starbucks, and The Weepies with me, I'm good.


~ Joy can be found in simple things. Just take a closer look at a one-year-old.


~ Fellowship can happen pretty much anywhere at any time and with anyone. And strangers can easily become close friends when out of their comfort zone.


~ Sharing is caring : )
One of the many lessons I've taught the MTI kiddos since arriving.


~ Cubicles could possibly be the end to me when I start working full time. I guess I'm more of a socialite than I thought!


~ An author is only as good as the people who stand behind her.


~ Push is an interesting movie and 7 Pounds doesn't explain why it's called that.


~ God has a way of directing people to cross paths when needed the most. More than any other summer, I've been given a lot of opportunities to hang out with and talk to people I know will play a role in my future.


~ Reading is fun. But reading in order to discuss material is even funner!


~ Hiking is a good analogy for life. I never really understood why until I hiked 4 hours up a CO mountain.


Those are just some of the random things I've been learning recently. What has God been teaching you?

Reese's Cups

So, I just had a Reese's peanut butter cup. You know how they always come in one of those paper cup thingys? Well, this one came in 21 of them! Does anyone else find this odd?

The Power of You and Me

Verse: When the sky is so blue
You can almost see through it
To reach the stars
And the air is so clear
I can feel you near me
You're not that far
That far


Chorus:
Though we're miles apart
Today you'll stay
Right here
In my heart


Verse:
Funny how it goes
The waves ebb and flow down
To the sea
And the mountains are bold
As we grow older
You're still with me
With me


Bridge:
Rainbows may fall
The earth could stand still
The oceans and valleys
Fight as they will
Distance can call all it wants
But nothing can ever stop
The power of you and me


*Written as a song. Sorry the tune's only in my head : )

Boy + Balloon

Have you ever seen a boy with a balloon?

Today, I did. To give you the specifics, the boy was a one-year-old named Isaac. And the balloon was yellow.

Hand a boy a balloon and you'll probably be given in return a huge, cheeky grin and a look that says, "I've been waiting my entire life for this moment!" Then, allow that boy to play with the balloon as much as he wants and he'll be your best friend for eternity.

Give a boy a balloon and you will learn the joy of simplicity. You will experience the wide-eyed twinkle of a small miracle. You will observe the pudgy wave of a goodbye to the ordinary. And the more he plays, the more you'll wonder why you can't be more like him.

I hope you find your own balloon, grab onto it, and never let it go.

Thoughts on Talent and Passion

Yesterday I watched a pair of my favorite dancers on the show "So You Think You Can Dance" perform an amazing contemporary piece that portrayed a love story between two friends. By the end, the judges and performers had tears in their eyes, the crowd was going wild, and I could not help but smile.

A few minutes later, I excitedly told a friend of mine about the dance. But, unlike me she wasn't too thrilled. Instead, she asked, "Why do you even get so excited about this? I don't see what the big deal is."

Her question got me thinking. Why do I love shows like this as much as I do? Why am I completely content when I see performances like this one?

Well, after much contemplation I think I've figured it out. There is a joy that wells up inside of me every time I see something like the dance last night for three main reasons.

1) I love to see people using their gifts and talents.

I can't remember a time when I didn't love this. Whether it's in the realm of art, sports, leadership or something completely different, I have always been fascinated by the variety of talent God has given people. I'm continually amazed at everything humans are capable of doing as creatures of a creative God.

2) I love to see people producing quality work.

Using the gifts you've been given is great, but what's even better is when people are using their gifts to produce quality. In our consumer culture, it's really easy to settle for mediocrity because we want things now. However, quality work is what really speaks to people. And taking this one step farther, for us as Christians, quality is what God expects of us. We are to do everything as though doing it for Him. With this in mind, I get excited when I see people living up to their potential.

3) I love to see people passionate about something.

This gets to the tears of last night. When people care about what they are doing, it shows. And more than that, their passion is contagious. I can't dance for the life of me. I don't know all of the technical terms and can't even always tell whether someone is on beat or not. But I can tell when they love what they're doing. Last night, the dancers cared. Because they cared, the judges and the crowd cared. And because of all of that, I, sitting at home on a comfy chair, cared.

For these three reasons, I enjoyed the dance last night. I can now explain to my friend why I think TV shows like "So You Think You Can Dance" matter. But more than that, I hope this challenges you to use your God-given gifts and passions. Dream big, work hard, and be the best you can be -at whatever it is you do.

Summer Goals

~Practice guitar at least 3 hours a week. ~Read the Old Testament's prophets that I tend to skip over.
~Watch 10 classic movies that I've never seen before.
~Drive enough to feel comfortable behind the wheel.
~Write my roommate a letter every week.
~Pray a lot about the future.
~Have at least 10 good phone chats.
~Take 20 creative photographs.
~Find out as much as possible about Focus's book department.
~Read 5 plays.
~Brush up on my French skills. I'm going to need them!
~Make money!
~Figure out goals for my senior year.
~Write on this blog as much as possible.

The Pilgrim's Journey

(Thanks to Brad and Katie for the picture)

Carry your chains
Go on, my friend
Up the mountain
Of hardship and pain
Trek on, my friend
Through the dead valleys
The forests and the rain
I know the burden’s heavy
And the road will not be straight
But continue up the mountain
And I’m sure you’ll find your way

Carry your chains
Walk on, my friend
To the city
Of promise and gold
Press on, my friend
For longer still
Doing as you’re told
I know the world will argue
And at times you will grow faint
But continue to the city
And I’ll meet you at the gate

One Final Visit

Here am I
At the alter of past memories
Ready to confess.
I once worshipped
Faded melodies of distant ghosts;
Grasped sunny days of long ago,
Crumpled photographs,
Echoed words;
And fought to keep
Above the tow of shifting shadows
Yet, I refuse to continue
Chasing an unreal heaven
Gone from view
Thus a match I strike
To light my old obsession
Burning pages of my prayers
Before I walk away