"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do -this I keep on doing." - Paul, Romans 7:15, 17-19
Just as Paul says, I'm conflicted. On a daily basis I see two laws at work. The law of sin and God's law are constantly waging war against my soul. My heart and head both know what's right, but over and over again I reach out and pick the fruit. That stupid forbidden fruit that floods my life with a bitter taste. Yet I take the bite, and tomorrow I'll take another. The poison is now so deeply rooted in my being that it continues to spread. Quickly. When I am surrounded by a garden of plenty, I still want more. When the One I trust most says no, I still say yes. And this is my strongest fear, my greatest pain: that I would know the truth, but live a lie. Owning the key to freedom, but staying comfortably in my prison.
Until the day I rot.
Be encouraged my fellow blogger friend. You are in good company.
ReplyDeleteThe following chapter, Romans 8:
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death!!!....
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory....
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?.....
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
i'll be praying for you to be freed.
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