On Success

What is success really? How do you define this daunting word? The world says one thing; one thing we all know well, that we hear day after day.

"It's all about the money. The status. The power. It is all about giving them exactly what they want." 

But who is this "them" who wants these things? And what if what you want isn't what "them" wants? And what about God? What about His wants? 

If you tune out what the world says and listen more to what He says where does that leave you? If you're really, truly honest with yourself what do you think success means? What does it look like? Like money, status, and power? Or something else? What is success really? 

And what would you have to do to gain it? 

The Many "Me"s That Make Up My Life - Part 2

As seen below, there are many different "me"s that make up who I am. When combined you get a full picture, but otherwise you only understand a part. Lately I've been learning that we like things too separate.

Think about it for a minute. If you're like my brother, you like different types of food to be on separate plates so that they don't have to touch each other before making their way to your mouth. If you're like my sister, you'd rather not have different groups of friends over to your house for the same party, because that could get awkward. And if you're like me, you want separate sticky notes for different categories of your scribbles, even if there's room for everything on one. 

See? We like things separate. 

It's easier that way. Not too messy. Simple. 

But somehow I think that's dangerous. Don't get me wrong, being organized is a good thing! However, keeping things too separate, especially when it comes to pieces of your actual life, can be lonely. It's like making someone read a random section of your favorite book without giving them any context. That's frustrating, and to be honest, there are already too many people who will only understand one part of you anyway. 

Allow me to invite you into my room right now. I'm sitting here alone in my empty house. I'm clearly the home me on the surface. To someone looking in at the moment, I know I give a very different impression than the me inside my own head. However, take a step into my mind for a minute and you'll see that besides thinking about this blog post, I'm thinking of the many job applications I've filled out this week and the many more left to be finished (work me), I'm thinking about my visit to Taylor coming up soon and all of my friends there without me (academic me), and I'm definitely thinking about the many Slovenes I met this summer who are still moving forward towards Christ (travel me). And even though I can hide those "me"s to the outside world and look like merely home me, I can never truly separate things inside my head or heart. There, I'm always just me.   

But God didn't create us to be ourselves alone, inside our souls only to be understood by Him or ourselves. Instead, He gives us opportunities to be open with those around us and make friends who are able to see more than one of the pieces that make up who we are. True, some friends will only ever really see or understand one part of us, and that's okay. However, those who see, understand, and relate to more than one "me" are the ones you really want to keep around.

Because some things need to be separate (like doodles versus lists on sticky notes). But others are better understood when all together. 

The Many "Me"s That Make Up My Life - Part 1

My life at any given moment is a series of sections; small pieces of me that make up what I do, what I think, and essentially who I am. 

There is home me who is an older sister and daughter. The one whose room is in the basement, who always has a book in her hand, and who is known to spit soup out of her mouth from laughing too hard at the dinner table on occasion. This me is independent, a little stir crazy, and either too relaxed or just bored most of the time. The one who is uncomfortably comfortable with being selfish. She struggles to be content, but is also super grateful for the security, warmth, and consistency of home. 

There’s academic me. The one who knows what’s expected and is capable of pulling her weight. She likes studying, though she may complain, because she’s an idea person who likes hearing new things, thinking them through, and discussing them with peers. This me is responsible for the most part, but is smart enough to pair hard work with lots of fun. Not normally too stressed out, she enjoys the craziness of an ever changing dorm and plenty of friends. This is the me who is social, likes to write, and stays up way too late. She tries not to get overly obsessed with grades or competition and most of the time succeeds.

Then there is work me. Not super experienced, but a fast learner and consistent. This me tries hard to fit in and act professional, but feels like she’s playing a little girl’s pretend game of “Real World.” She is known as detail oriented and thorough, quiet but pleasant, and is always willing to do what’s asked of her. This me sometimes knows exactly what she wants and how to get it and at other times has no clue what she’s doing.  She has to push herself to take initiative, but she’s usually up to the challenge. And though she likes working by herself, she is also more than willing to be a team player. Reading people well, getting along with them, and being easy going but organized makes people notice….sometimes.

And of course there’s travel me. Maybe the most content of them all, this me breathes easy, trusts a map, but enjoys adventure. She is the experienced one, the missionary kid with a fresh perspective on life and a smile on her face. This me absolutely hates when ignorant people joke about different races and nationalities, she is proud to be Canadian, and thinks that newspapers are too biased to give an accurate picture of what goes on in the world. She keeps track of license plates from different states on road trips, feels at home when on the move, and loves learning about different cultures. She’s been to a lot of places and can picture herself in many more. And somehow people on the other side of the world have captured her heart.

These are only some of the many “me”s that make up my life at this moment. What do your “me”s look like? More to come on this soon.

Dear Europe

Dearest Europe,

I have something to confess. I don't say this lightly, but I'm kind of hopelessly in love with you. Every time I get to visit my heart leaps and every time I'm forced to say goodbye I miss you even more than the last time. I've only been gone from you for a month now, but it feels like so much longer.

I absolutely love the way you greet me with roses and chocolate on occasion, the fresh bread you make me in the mornings, and of course the gelato in the afternoons. Thank you for welcoming me into a life of laid-back adventure. The cobblestone roads you lead me down and the views of church spires and country-sides you have shown me over the years have stayed with me. No matter how hard I try I cannot forget the history lessons you've taught me -the art and culture. I appreciate the steady way you change while still remembering your past. Your faithful and welcoming heart is appreciated.

And more than anything else, you feel like home.
Thanks for that.

Amy