Before the Fall

There's always that moment before something bad happens.

That moment where time slows and you think to yourself, "Is there anything I can do to make this better?" The moment when you almost feel super-human, but are still very much aware of the fact that you're not. That moment in which you are both strangely relaxed and extremely anxious. The moment when you know that all you can do is wait for the fall.


Wait and wonder how bad it'll actually be once you hit the ground.


There's always that moment before something bad happens.

The Randomness of My Mind

*Otherwise known as the thoughts I've been thinking recently*

A list:
~We've all grown up with people in our lives and have been taught from an early age how friendship is supposed to work. However, it always surprises me how little I really know about how to make friends. Sometimes people come into my life and will not leave. Other times they pass in and out of my days (like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in that You've Got Mail montage) without ever staying put long enough for me to say more than hi. There are the people I really want to get to know but can never seem to connect with and others who give me all the time in the world. Relationships are messy, confusing, and frustrating, but are also one of the greatest gifts God has given us. Take advantage of them -no matter what level your friendships are at!


~Why do I ALWAYS have the travel bug? Honestly, though I love Taylor to death, my mind is always traveling to other places. I guess that's what happens to you when your parents decide to drag your kid self to the other side of the ocean... you never really come back. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) It doesn't help that half the girls on the wing are growing excited about J-term and study abroad trips and that my parents and sister are traveling a ton this month!


~Africa grabbed a piece of my heart unexpectedly during high school. Every once in a while, like today in chapel, it continues to excite me. But I never know quite what to do with the nagging.


~I hate how Thanksgiving is so close to Christmas Break. How do they seriously expect us to come back from eating turkeys with our families, only to concentrate for a couple weeks, turn and go all the way home again?! All I can say is Canadians do it right!


~Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson have an awesome album out called Break Up. Buy it, give it to friends, and listen your ears off. Yeah, it's that worth it : )


~I want to bring my current church (Exit 59 for those of you wondering) with me when I graduate. I love the preaching style, the energy, and the young leaders there and wish I had the time (and transportation) it takes to get more involved. Sadly, I don't. But I hope wherever I end up in Futureland that there's a church like Exit.


That's all I've got in me at the moment. More wanderings next time.

She Took Some and Ate It... and Will Again

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do -this I keep on doing." - Paul, Romans 7:15, 17-19


Just as Paul says, I'm conflicted. On a daily basis I see two laws at work. The law of sin and God's law are constantly waging war against my soul. My heart and head both know what's right, but over and over again I reach out and pick the fruit. That stupid forbidden fruit that floods my life with a bitter taste. Yet I take the bite, and tomorrow I'll take another. The poison is now so deeply rooted in my being that it continues to spread. Quickly. When I am surrounded by a garden of plenty, I still want more. When the One I trust most says no, I still say yes. And this is my strongest fear, my greatest pain: that I would know the truth, but live a lie. Owning the key to freedom, but staying comfortably in my prison.


Until the day I rot.