Down Cobblestone Roads

Your Forever - Part 3

2011-06-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

And let me tell you, Grace is a good and beautiful master.

His love heals and his hope reigns. He speaks the truth and the truth is what sets you free. He gives you enough room to breathe, allowing you to stand on your own two feet. But picking you up when you fall. Again and again.

He never leaves and will never forsake you. Blessing you when you least expect it and surprising you with his forgiveness. There is no way you can escape him. But you don't need to.

Alone, you are helpless, hopeless. Weighed down by fear of past mistakes. Even in this, he will guide you. Because this is your gift -your forever. You made your choice long ago and you still deserve the consequences of your mistakes. Because Sin is an evil and disgusting master. But you no longer have to follow him.

In Grace you are free! I would know, because so am I.

"For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."- Romans 6:14

Your Forever - Part 2

2011-06-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

I know a secret. Listen closely and I'll tell you.

Though Sin is your master and there is no possible way you can escape his chains on your own, there is a way. The Way. One way that changes everything. Summed up in a single, small word that means the world. That could become your new forever.

Grace.

Amazing, surprising, irresistible Grace. Saving Grace.

Perfection paid the price that Sin was asking. Blood was shed and death was conquered to make way for life -your life. Life that is free from the disgusting evil that once held you captive. You have been given the key to your chains and it comes at no cost to you.

You do not deserve this. You deserve what Sin offers, because you already chose that. But now you have another choice. An important one. You have the opportunity to accept a new life, to accept a new master.

Your Forever - Part 1

2011-05-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sin is an evil and disgusting master. Believe me, I would know.

His looks deceive and his voice entices. He feeds you lines you want to hear and fools even the brightest of them all with his lies. He gives you just enough room to breathe, making you think he's gone and then he takes over again. And again.

He never leaves. Following you at all times, sneaking up on you when least expected. When you think you're getting somewhere, he surprises you with new chains. There is no way you can escape him.

You are helpless, hopeless. Weighed down by fear and the looming truth that death is surely coming. But even there, he will guide you. Because this is your curse -your forever. You made your choice long ago and you deserve the consequences of your mistakes. Because Sin is an evil and disgusting master. And you... well, you follow him.

Dear Summer

2011-05-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Summer,
When I graduated last May, I had super high hopes for our friendship. We've always been close and I was ready to create even more memories together. And with the throw of my cap, two months in Slovenia, and plenty of time in the sun we did just that. But that was last year...

This year, I thought things between us would be different. Let's face it, I'm growing up and I was afraid that with that truth the time was coming when the office would take the place of the pool and I'd trade in my flip flops for some heels. And maybe that day is coming, but I'm not ready to let go just yet.

I may be in the "real world" now, but I wanted to let you know I'm still open to our adventures. I love eating ice cream with you -sitting outside, taking in the smells of freshly cut grass and backyard barbecues. I'm ready for the fireworks and road trips. Please work your free-spirited magic on the weather and I'll bring lots of sunscreen.

Thanks for sticking with me through the years. I'm excited to see you again soon!

Stay cool as always,
Amy

If You Were My Happy

2011-04-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry about not posting anything recently. I'll blog sometime soon, I promise. Until then, here's an old poem I wrote. Enjoy!

If you were my king
And I was your queen
We could be happy
Just do as we please
All of the world
Would be ours to hold
Best of all
We'd never be alone

You'd be the moon in the night
And I'd be the stars
We'd be shining so bright
As we drifted afar
I'd be the ocean
You'd be my shore
With the tide coming in
We'd be hard to ignore

And I'd be the gold
At the end of your rainbow
You'd be the horizon
Down my country road
Together we'd make
The perfect picture
Hanging forever
On the wall in our home

If you were my king
And I was queen
We could be
Happy...
Happy

I'm the One Who...

2011-03-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

-brings a to-go cup of soup to work almost every day just because I'm lazy.
-thinks Disney Channel is normally the best thing on TV... and is not afraid to admit it.
-knows a Czech Superstar (that's right, Noah Ellenwood!)
-loses MarioKart races to 5 year olds.
-reads bits and pieces of 10 different books before actually finishing one.
-is known to be organized even though my room is always a mess.
-likes to stay up late unless I have to.
-enjoys taking personality tests for fun, but hates being put in a box.
-really wants to read Tara Leigh Cobble's second book.
-draws hearts and stars all over notepads while on the phone or skype.
-is extremely proud of the fact that I've never had wisdom teeth. (My dentist says that makes me more highly evolved. Haha!)
-hopes Walmart will help bring Magnums to the States.
-could care less about doughnuts as long as I can eat bagels.
-doesn't like to cook because I don't like to clean up afterwards.
-has more friends in other states and countries than acquaintances in IL. (At least that's what it feels like!)
-one time hula hooped for an hour straight.
-prefers water over almost any other drink.
-only sings when alone.
-is still super psyched that I have my own car!
-uses : ) and ; ) too often on chat just so people know when I'm joking.
-always wants to travel, even while I'm traveling.
-sits cross-legged whenever possible -it's more comfortable, I'm telling you.
-has a bulletin board in my room completely dedicated to Europe.
-loves living close to a big city.

Who are you?

~Also, a big thanks to Jenny B. Jones. I totally stole the idea for this list from her!

The Funnel Effect

2011-02-21T15:09:00.000-08:00

"Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity." - Paul bragging about the Macedonian churches (2 Corinthians 8:2)

Considering all of the what ifs in life, I have never been through any trials I would dare call "severe." Not that my life has been a walk in the park -there have definitely been times when I've at least jogged- but when I look around at all the things other people deal with, I know I've been protected from a lot of pain and hardship.

And as much as I think and worry about money, I am far from living in "extreme poverty." I am the first to admit that I don't even understand what that phrase means. While I sit here in my comfy room with all of my unnecessary books and clothing, with a newly purchased car sitting in my driveway and an almost completely paid for college degree on my wall, I am well aware that my life is more in the category of "extreme blessing."

I've heard it said many times that because of what I have I should give -that God has given me so much so that I can give to others. It's a lot less often that I hear we should give out of what we don't have.

Yet this is what the Macedonian church did. Their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. This church didn't have the blessing of a cushioned life like I have. They were in the midst of trouble and were deeply struggling. But when they heard of a need, they were happy to give what they could -more than what they could -to help their brothers in Christ out.

And this church's example has me amazed these days. It has me wondering whether giving what we don't need away is really giving much at all. It has me slowly shifting my thinking.

Rich generosity is more than an overflowing cup of blessings where I keep what's in the cup and others get the extra. Instead, it's more like a funnel where gifts flow through my life and are passed on to others.

The Macedonians taught me that. Now I just pray that I can live it out.

A Story On Smashing Idols

2011-02-13T08:21:00.000-08:00

A girl. Standing with her head to the ground, looking at her shoes. She’s young, pretty, full of potential, or so they say. Then again, They say a lot of things.

The girl slowly raises her head and turns her attention to the bat in her hands. It’s normally used for entertainment purposes, but not today. Today, the girl has a different plan in mind. Something she needs to do.

Yet They have crept into her head, screaming for her to walk away. So she stands for a minute before nodding with determination and heading into the factory.

The factory is a small, dark room within the girl’s own heart. But a familiar room, well kept and secret. She turns on the light and a flood of mixed emotions welcomes her in. The cogs, the fire, the metal, all glare back at her. Then she turns her attention to the mission, the reason she is here for this last time.

She approaches the tall shelf with her prized possessions and her greatest joys. The Idols don’t look as shiny as they once were. She grips her bat and swings -as hard as she possibly can. Shattering of glass can be heard for miles. They surely know. But she doesn’t care anymore.

Favorite Music Videos of the Moment

2011-02-12T10:32:00.000-08:00

Bethany Joy is still one of my favorites. Wish she had a whole album out.

This is adorable!

If you haven't heard of The Civil Wars yet, you're in for a treat.

I've always been somewhat fascinated by those mall maps that state "You are Here" in big letters with a star beside them or an arrow clearly pointing out your existence. Not over there, not that way, just here. Plain and simple. I like that feeling I get when I stand there looking at those information boards, because in that moment I have a sense of the bigger picture. Within the context of the mall, the chaotic comings and goings of busy shoppers, I know exactly where I am and why. For as long as I'm still staring at that map I have all the facts I could ever need.

Life isn't like that.

In life, I don't have that map. I wander around wishing I did. But let's face it, I don't always know where I'm going. I don't have the big picture I wish I had or the understanding of the context in the way I want. Instead, I find myself overwhelmed by the things I don't know. How my story fits into the lives of others. Where I am in the chaotic comings and goings of a world I don't comprehend. My decisions, talents, words, and actions are one big mess of lines -unfamiliar roads in a past, present, and future of which I am mostly unaware.

I can't always see where I'm going... I can't see where I'm going now.

But just because I don't have that map, doesn't mean there isn't one. I don't have the satisfaction of reading those letters that spell out three very comforting words -"You are Here." But I have something better: the mapmaker lovingly whispering what I need to know into my ear.

If I Had it My Way...

2011-01-23T20:32:00.000-08:00

~ Summer would be longer than the other seasons and winter would, of course, be the shortest

~ Books would always be free

~ Walking would be the required mode of transportation

~ Everyone would watch Chuck on TV

~ There would be no commercials on radio stations (so I wouldn't have to constantly flip between channels)

~ Oxford would be closer to home and I would have a tunnel to the Bodleian Library in my basement

~ Reese's Peanut Butter Cups wouldn't be bad for you

~ Exercising would always be fun and I would be able to swim, ski, skate, and surf whenever I wanted

~ Traveling would be like in the movies, where two minutes on the airplane would be enough to get you safely to your destination

~ I'd never forget my childhood

~ People would never have jobs that were purposeless, unless they loved them

~ There would be a Jamba Juice two minutes from me at all times

~ Schooling wouldn't cost so much

~ Learning a different language wouldn't be difficult and Google Translate would be more accurate

~ Coffee would taste better or no one would drink it

~ People would talk more face to face and less through technology

~ I would hear at least one funny quote from a child every day

~ People would wake up to a crowd standing in the room encouraging them, clapping for them and singing sunshiny songs to them every morning

~ Night would not come so quickly and you wouldn't be tired if you went to bed late

~ People would actually follow their dreams instead of just talk about following them

~ You would give gifts on your birthday and get them on everyone else's (like in the Shire)

~ Your tongue would turn the color of the food you were eating all the time, not only when you ate candy

~ Asking good questions would be less of a rare occurrence and really listening to the answers would be automatic

~ I would have gotten the musical gene so that I could actually play guitar by now

~ Going to laughing clubs would be a weekly requirement of life

~ People would think outside the box more or maybe the box would just be bigger

~ And I'd always have ideas for what to write on my blog

Travel Tip #961 - Giants

2011-01-12T19:47:00.000-08:00

"my problem
my giant
just won't keep quiet
she's first thing every morning
to the last thing I hear every night
but she can't be completely indestructible
I only wish I could see how to defeat
my giant"
- Stephanie Smith
There's a song I really like called "My Giant" (I would post a link of the song here, but it is no where to be found on youtube) which I discovered by watching one of my favorite movies in the world, Pride and Prejudice: A Latter Day Comedy (that's right, it's the modern mormon version that no one has heard of!) Totally worth it, trust me! Anyways, the song's chorus posted above always makes me stop and think about all the different giants we meet on the road to just about anywhere.

They show up and they are BIG!

I posted about storms last time, which may seem kind of the same as giants. But the hard thing about giants, unlike storms, are that they move, they think, and they purposefully choose to be against us. Giants stand up and shout, "Fe Fi Fo Fum" or "Who will dare to fight me?" They are proud, terrifying beasts that we allow to manipulate us, lie to us, and flat out scare us. Giants are the bullies of the journey -the crazy bosses, the abusive parents, the backstabbing friends, and the selfish spouses. They are the relationship problems that come with being human. They aren't the mountains we climb or the blizzards we get through, instead they are the enemies we have to deal with or the unhealthy fears and habits we must destroy.

And giants seem indestructible. That's why they are giants and we are not. Because we, being the short little guys, tend to feel intimidated. There's no easy way to fight a giant in life. Basically, you just have to put your armor on, have friends to encourage you along the way, and have the faith that no giant is completely indestructible.

They may not all fall the way Goliath did, but all giants can be defeated with the right stone.

My Word -Fiducia

2011-01-06T17:26:00.000-08:00

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I entrust my life.

- Psalm 143:8

Maybe you’re a woman in search of her word. - Eat, Pray, Love

In the movie Eat, Pray, Love the Italians play a game with Liz (aka Julia Roberts) where they name a city and say a word that goes with it. This quickly transitions into talk about people’s words -the idea that everyone has a word in life, one that envelops their essence, meaning, or purpose. After saying her word is “writer,” the friends argue around the dinner table that writing is merely something Liz does, not who she is. Thus, it is declared that Liz is in search of her word. And it is not until much later in the movie, that she realizes what this word might be.

For those of you who are now curious, Liz says her word is “attraversiamo” which is Italian for “Let’s cross over.” Hearing this, got me wondering about what my word might be. Though I don’t know much about the Italian language, I do know it sounds cooler than English, so I did some research and came up with this: “fiducia.” It’s an Italian word for trust, dependence, or reliance, having the same root word as the verb “to owe”, because I want my word in life to mean “I put my trust in you.”

I don’t know why, but I’ve always struggled with trusting. I’ve been given so many amazing people in my life to encourage me to trust, that it hardly makes sense that I would have trouble. But I do. If I’m completely honest, I’m always afraid that people will somehow betray me -that they’ll leave. And that translates into fear of an even greater proportion -that one day God will leave me. That one day His love will no longer be everlasting, His forgiveness will no longer be free, and His plan for my life will no longer be one of hope and a future.

Yet God has been faithful when I have not.

Through many opportunities in life to trust, trust, and trust some more I’ve learned how to put my trust in the right things, the right people, and specifically, the One being who will never betray me. And I’ve learned that this act of depending on something outside one’s self; of owing someone; of confessing, completely surrendering, and believing wholeheartedly is more than worth it.

It’s so worth it, that even just the word trust is important enough to base my life around.

Fiducia is my word. What’s yours?

My 2010 Was...

2010-12-31T22:47:00.000-08:00

~ Playing Quelf and laughing harder than ever until 3 in the morning to begin the new year
~ J-Term roadtrips, hair dying, and some learning too with 1WO and my sis
~ An ongoing Fluxx tournament (best card game ever!) with Hannah
~ A playlist of B.o.B, Joshua Radin, Broken Bells, IYAZ, He is We, The Civil Wars, and Taylor Swift
~ Midnight chats with God in the prayer chapel, walks around the loop, and dreams of the future
~ A week in paradise with the family, wishing I had the life of a surfer
~ Listening to awesome sermons at Exit and wanting to take that church with me back to Illinois
~ Exploring more of the passions and gifts I've been given
~ Watching Grayson Chance, Ellen, and auto-tuned videos on YouTube
~ Being intentional about friendships, building them up before leaving school
~ Birthday dinners, forming nicknames, suffering in French, movie nights, Grille meals, bike rides, Walmart runs, hallway discos, "studying" in Upland
~ Graduating from Taylor with a BA in writing and a minor in psych
~ Turning 22 -no question I'm an adult now!
~ sLOVEnia - teaching English, building relationships, and seeing the Holy Spirit work
~ Obsessing over Lost's final season, Chuck, and a bit of Heartland
~ Getting good at the application process
~ Seeing Canada's parliament buildings in person finally
~ Eating my first lobster meal ever
~ Discovering pomegranates and loving them (weird, alien fruit)
~ Waiting, waiting, and more waiting
~ Buying my first pair of skinny jeans
~ Babysitting as much as possible
~ Dealing with long-distances through many visits, phone conversations, skype calls, facebook chats, and the occasional sent package
~ Reading My Generation by Josh Riebock, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, and a bunch of books by Henri Nouwen
~ Checking my blog's stats way too often
~ Getting a Wii for Christmas :)
~ Celebrating the holidays with family in Canada
~ Toasting in the next year with my sister, Anderson Cooper, and Pink's "Raise Your Glass" song

My 2011 is... yet to be determined.

Dear Santa

2010-12-20T20:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I've been thinking about the magic of Christmas this year. I'm sure many people write you regarding this very topic all the time, but please take off your boots, grab some of your wife's famous hot chocolate, and bear with me for a few minutes, because I've come to a realization.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but Christmas is not about the North Pole's holiday cheer and fantasies. Being as wise a guy as I know you are, you've probably known this for quite some time. I guess it's me who took a little longer to figure out the real magic of Christmas.

You see, I was never a kid who really believed in you. Sure, I would pretend every once in a while, but I always knew deep down that it was all just that -pretend. And since growing older, I've felt that Christmas has lost it's magic altogether. It comes and goes; a day with a lot more build-up than seems necessary and not much of a climax (much like high school prom). I don't mean to sound like the Grinch, but that's how I've felt.

This year, however, I'm determined to remember what I've really known all along -though Christmas is not about elves, flying reindeer, or even jolly old you, that doesn't mean it's not magical.

Peace on earth may sound like a stretch in our society, but Christmas is still about miracles. All because one ordinary day long ago, something extra-ordinary happened: God came to earth as a baby. The star shone, the angels sang, and the best gift ever was given to an undeserving, but very needy, world. That gift was given to me.

So, thank you Santa, for keeping magic alive. Though you are far from the reason for the season, you do help put the wonder and awe into Christmas -feelings that really do deserve to be there.

Merry Christmas,
Amy

Erase the Grey

2010-12-12T21:23:00.000-08:00

I decided to sit down and write a song today because sometimes I wish I was a musician. Don't ask me to sing this to you, but here's what came out :)

Verse One
Life is full of color
That's what they say
But some weeks I
Can't see more than grey
Black and white
Has taken the place
Of anything extraordinary

Pre-chorus
I'm dying inside
Surrounded by the rain
Don't know if I'll ever
See clearly again

Chorus
I'm longing for someone
To take away this ache
I'm looking for a way
To break through this pain
I'm hoping, I'm praying
There's a reason for this day
And that's when You
Erase the grey

Verse Two
Clouds come and go
They never stay
When I've got You
Blowing them away
My heart is whole
The world is okay
Back to extraordinary

Long-Distance Jesus

2010-12-08T16:46:00.000-08:00

At times, my relationship with God feels a lot like a long-distance one. Not in a way that makes me bitter; God is still very much a part of my everyday life. Though I can't see Him, we are close. In fact, in some ways I feel that makes our bond even closer.

But there are days, like this one, when I wish I had Jesus here in the flesh.

Days when I find myself jealous of the disciples and Biblical figures in the Gospels. While they got to hear Jesus' audible voice, I have to read His words on the pages of a book. While they got to look into His loving eyes that see their hearts, I understand the image without the physicality. And maybe most importantly, while they were able to literally hug Him, touch His robe, and feel His nail-pierced hands, I am left here with the knowledge that "feeling" doesn't always happen outwardly, no matter my longing.

I can't help it. As a human, I am somewhat constrained to the material world. I hear, see, and touch on a daily basis, whether I'm fully aware of the acts or not. And I am realizing more every day that the senses mean something -mean a lot.

So, within this physical world I live in, I can't help but long for Jesus as a human. I cannot wait for the moment when the five senses are no longer constraints on my relationship with God. When I get to touch Jesus' human body myself. When I get to see with my own eyes the face of the One I was created in the image of. When I get to hear the words already hidden in my heart spoken by the One who said them in the first place.

It'll happen one day. One day soon. Until then, I'm glad to know that long-distance relationships don't have to be distant ones.

Because I Want to Be A Secret Connoisseur Too

2010-12-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

"Because we have a moment here, let me tell you that I have recently become a secret connoisseur of 'last looks'. You know the way people look at you when they believe it's for the last time? I've started collecting these looks."
- Drew Baylor (aka Orlando Bloom) in "Elizabethtown"

(Love this movie! Here's a pic from my favorite scene.)

This quote came to mind today. Maybe only because in a moment of boredom, while riding a bus, I decided it was about time for me to watch that movie again. But also, it came to mind because I've seen these 'last looks' a lot recently -at graduation from Taylor, in Slovenia this summer, and even today when saying goodbye to close friends not knowing exactly how long we were saying goodbye for. My life, much like Drew's, could be summed up by the many last looks I've given and received throughout the years.

But looks like that can kill. Last looks rip a piece of your heart out, never to give it back. They are sharp, scary glances that last a little too long, or maybe don't last long enough.

And as I sat on the bus thinking through all of these last looks I've collected over time, I realized something -I don't want to be a secret connoisseur of last looks. Instead, I want to collect 'first looks'.

Because unlike last looks, first looks are hopeful. Instead of causing pain, they glimmer with potential. Like when a perfect stranger takes notice of you for the first time and you see, as your eyes meet theirs, that there is possibility there. Or when you wake up in the morning, roll out of bed, and see the first human you make contact with that day and you know, even through the drowsy eyes and yawns, that this person loves you. And definitely when you say hello in person to a well-known friend for the first time in months and see that excitement that isn't there in a mere email or skype chat.

So, I've made up my mind. I could be a secret connoisseur of last looks like Drew. But first looks are more worthy of a collection.

This is Not a Thanksgiving List

2010-11-24T22:32:00.000-08:00

Thankfulness is a funny thing. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone. And that may be true at times. But other times, it is overwhelming to think about all that you do have.

I know when I think about what I have, I have a lot.

More than I need. More than I even want at times. More than I can add to a list to stick on a blog post to tell you what I'm most grateful for (though I thought of doing exactly that). Let's face it, a list wouldn't cut it.

Because I have a life most people dream of having. I'm fed, clothed, sheltered, provided for. But more than that, I'm encouraged, challenged, motivated, comforted, and loved day in and day out. And I have the Creator of the Universe willing and wanting to bless me. Me (of all people)!

So, I don't have a cute, little list for you today in honor of Thanksgiving. Instead, I have a short piece of rambling and a whole lot of awe for the One who thought to give me the things I wouldn't even consider ever putting on a list.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Hope you are overwhelmed with blessings today.

A Story On Hope

2010-11-17T22:12:00.000-08:00

Her mind burned as much as her feet as she took step after painful step. The young traveler had all but given up any thought that her once upon a time could come to a happily ever after. Yet she continued walking. Because that's all she knew to do. Because everyone expected at least that much of her and she didn't want to let them down; she didn't want to let herself down.

But it was dark -this road she followed.

Morning was far out of reach. And she wasn't even sure if she remembered what it felt like. Long gone was the fresh air of a new day; the birds' songs and the sun's rays. All she had now was the cold of night and her desperate thoughts that burned, but did not warm her.

Her bag, slung over her right shoulder, was heavy -full of useless boulders she was constantly throwing from her pack. It took all of her strength not to fall over.

"Help me!" she yelled out when at last she stopped to gain her breath. She was shaking now and tears had formed in her eyes. "Help me," she repeated in a whisper this time. Not sure if anyone could hear her, or if she even wanted someone to.

The traveler stood there, silently, for some time -lost in her fear and brokeness.

But then something changed.

She lifted her head slightly, wiped her tears, picked up her feet, and began to move again. Slowly, onward. And as she looked toward the horizon, she could just make out the sun beginning to rise in the distance. The birds would be chirping soon enough. She could breathe again. And she knew, with all her heart, that day was coming.

Travel Tip #86 - Storms

2010-11-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.”

- G.K. Chesterton

(I'm obviously not a drawing master. But hey, I tried!)

I don't really understand the people who actually, truly enjoy rainy days. Sure, cloudy days maybe, if you happen to be in England or something and have an umbrella handy. But not rain and especially not storms! I don't think I'd mind if I never had to get caught in the rain again. No more sloshing through puddles in the wrong shoes. No more shaking my fist at the sky in anger. And no more pretending I can control the weather with my mind. (AND no more failing to control the weather with my mind.) It would be glorious.

However, life happens and sadly, storms come with the package.

But like Chesterton says, without rain there wouldn't be any rainbows. Storms in life are rough. It's easy to get your feet swept out from under you by high winds you didn't see coming or step in a problem puddle deeper than you expected. Without the storms, though, there'd be less smiles when the sun shines. There wouldn't be a reason to cling so tightly to hope or God's promises. Rainbows would no longer need to exist and we'd miss out on their beauty.

Besides, standing in the rain won't kill you -it'll only make you wet.

Life in the Corridor

2010-11-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

Life right now is like an endless corridor.
On either side of me, as I walk down it,
There are rows of doors, doors, and more doors.
I grab a door knob, turn, and find that the door is locked.
I try another,
And it opens.
So I walk through only to find another door.
I open that one and find one more door.
I continue opening doors until I open one to find
A big, daunting door that's clearly locked.
Tightly chained.
Bolted shut.
No key to be found.
With a sign that says something like,
"Turn around" or "Not this one -nice try though!"
So I find myself back at the corridor
Trying more doors,
No end in sight.
But I know that there
Must be light
At the end of the corridor,
Though I can't always see it.
And I hold onto this hope:
That someday,
Somehow,
I will open one of those doors
And find what I've been waiting for.
And that will make it all
Worth the effort.

Dear Reality

2010-10-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

Hey Reality,

I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you that you've surprised me recently. I don't know why, because I knew you and I were going to be hanging out a lot this year... I just pictured things differently. For one thing, I thought you would be nicer. Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes it feels like you're more of a stalker than a friend of mine. You know I don't mind irony and sarcasm every once in a while and I appreciate your honesty and criticism. But do you have to be so brutal? I'm trying here! Can't you see that?

I guess I just hoped you'd give me the benefit of the doubt. That you'd provide me with some tips on how to get a great job. Or that you'd introduce me to some good friends in the area. I know things take time and I'm willing to work at it, but you have to hold up your part of our relationship. I do want to be friends. You're humbling, you're challenging, you're adventurous, and I like that. Honestly.

I want to make this work. Just go easy on me, okay?

I'm still learning...

Amy

10 Places That Mean Something

2010-10-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've done the whole listing off art/entertainment that means something to me, but I've never written a list of places that mean something to me. Since I do have some experience in this area and love to travel whenever I can, I say it's about time. In no particular order, here's the list.

~ The Lower Camera Reading Room in the Bodleian Library; Oxford, England With over 11 million printed items spread throughout nearly 40 different libraries around the area, I was in book lover heaven when I had access to this place for a month. Studying was no problem, though with so much to explore it was quite overwhelming. Sitting by the decorated windows, taking in the smells and sounds of European knowledge was amazing! Being there with new-found friends made it even better.

~ Road between Focus on the Family and MTI; Colorado Springs, Colorado When I first got to the Springs last summer to intern for a month, I was nervous about driving. By the time it was over, the thing I was going to miss most was my morning drive along the curvy mountain roads of this gorgeous state. With the Weepies to keep me company and the ever-changing sky to amaze me, this place was in my thoughts long after I left it.

~ Schloss Heroldeck; Millstatt, Austria A castle built in the early 1900s complete with a tower and gorgeous view of Lake Millstatt. Fill the place with Slovene teenagers and it's by far the coolest place ever for JV English Camps. And I absolutely adore the sparkling green, blue, and purple shingles on its rooftop.

~ First West Olson at Taylor University; Upland, Indiana The saying is true, First West is best (not that I'm at all biassed)! But honestly, 30-40 college girls sharing life with each other is always cool to see. The late night dance parties, the discussions in the hallway, and the nickname shouting from across the wing all served as a fun reminder to me that life is better when you've got company.

~ Josiah Venture's Main Training Center; Malenovice, Czech Republic I've seen this place and JV go through a lot of changes in the past 13 years, but through it all one thing has stayed exactly the same -time with JV always feels like time with family. And that makes Malenovice a home away from home. From having Jacob's hat party, to watching Miss Congeniality in a closet-sized room, to many games of Star Wars mafia, to worshipping God alongside so many people I love, this place holds great memories.

~ Kidsbooks Bookstore; Vancouver, British Columbia I love visiting my relatives in BC and have to agree with my parents when they say if they could live anywhere in Canada they'd want to live there. Vancouver has everything, including beautiful beaches, mountains, and this specialty shop. It's the best children's bookstore I've ever been to and it keeps that Kathleen Kelly dream of owning my own bookstore someday alive.

~ Clapping Circle at Jefferson Pointe; Fort Wayne, Indiana This secret place, sadly no longer there because of a stupid potted tree, was a favorite spot my Freshman year of college. To me it symbolizes the spontaneity and fun of a lot of firsts in life on my own. If you were there, you understand, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you missed out.

~ Schoolhouse; Kakolo Village, Zambia Okay, so I've never actually been here, but I feel like I have been. Going to high school at Wheaton Academy taught me a lot that I'll never forget. Maybe the biggest lesson I learned though is how the least in life should be a part of my daily life as a Christian. The Zambia Project, raising money for this village, showed me the power of giving, compassion, and a life of love. Learning to live sacrificially for the sake of others less fortunate than ourselves and changing the world because of it is a lesson I hope I always remember. And who knows? Maybe someday I'll get to visit in person.

~ Ho'okipa Beach; Maui, Hawaii In my ideal other life, I would totally be a surfer here. I'd drive a yellow jeep, own 15 different swim suits, and hang out with the local beach bums. Yeah, forget dreams of being a celebrity, I would be completely happy living in the sun, sand, and surf of this place. They don't call it paradise for nothing!

~ My House; Carol Stream, Illinois Not everyone is blessed enough to be able to say, "There's no place like home" and actually mean it. However, I am. Through babysitting quite a bit recently I've gotten to see some other family's homes in the area and I am quite certain that mine should be everyone's favorite. The calming colors of the walls, the comfy couches, and of course my mom's hospitality and my dad's jokes make the place great. If you don't believe me, come visit!

And there you have it! What places are on your list?

How I'm Like A Horse

2010-10-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a country girl. I prefer big cities and haven't ever spent much time on a farm. And if you happened to be in my beginning horsemanship class last year at Taylor when Shammy got spooked, you also know that I have personal reasons to dislike horses. Nevertheless, I have recently found myself enjoying the Canadian hit TV show, Heartland. For those of you who have never heard of it, it's a modern family drama about a teenage horse whisperer (named Amy) and her life on a ranch in Alberta. Though I mostly like it for character development purposes, I have to admit it has also piqued my interest in rodeos and the different events that take place at them.

One such event is the colt taming competition.

Basically, each competitor is given a wild colt and has a certain amount of time in a ring to tame it. They are given points for being able to saddle the horse, ride it, lead it over obstacles, etc.

When Amy attempts to tame a horse (which happens a lot in the show), she does so by making the horse run around a ring for as long as it takes before the horse decides to "join up" with her in the middle of the cirlce. Sometimes the horses are pretty stubborn and won't meet her for a while. Instead, they run around in circles, bitter that someone else wants control. Other times the horses will allow Amy to touch them, will meet her eye and sometimes even let her put a saddle on their back, but they throw her off and fight her if she gets too close or dares to try riding because of fear and distrust. It takes a lot of patience and compassion from Amy, but it is clearly a victory when she finally gets a horse to join up and partner with her.

This process fascinates me and I wasn't really sure why until the other night when I opened my Bible to Psalm 32:8-9 and read, "The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.'"

Though I'm not considered a "farm girl" in any sense of the term, my recent interest in Heartland, paired with these verses, made me realize that most of the time I am that senseless horse. Amy taming those stubborn, scared animals is a lot like what God wants to do for us. He calls us to "join up" with Him in the middle of the ring. He calls us to a partnership of trust and love where He'll guide us along the best pathway of life... if we let Him. My problem, like the untamed horses, is that I don't always want to give up my control. I want to go the way I want to go -do the things I want to do. And I don't fully believe that anyone could know better than I do how my life should be.

Trusting is difficult, but just as the verse says the alternative is senseless. If you aren't the horse joining up with the Master in the center of the ring, living for the exact purposes you were created for in a harmonious partnership with one who knows better than you, then you're the horse running around the circle, wasting your energy on a life that will get you nowhere, while the kind Master waits patiently for you to come back to Him.

When Following Means Staying

2010-10-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

"Where You go, I'll go

Where You stay, I'll stay

When You move, I'll move

I will follow." - Chris Tomlin

Chris Tomlin's latest hit, "I Will Follow" has been in my head for the past few weeks for a lot of reasons. Besides being played on the radio constantly, the theme stands out as one I know well. As a missionary kid, it just makes sense that I would resonate with the idea of going where Christ goes. After all, my family did move across the world twice for the sake of following God. I'm confident I've seen Him move in the past and that He's called and invited me into a life of stepping out in faith with Him and going wherever He wants me to. But these days, those aren't the lines in this song that really speak to me. Instead, it's the second line above that has gotten me thinking.

Where You stay, I'll stay.

It's one thing to be the person always leaving -to say goodbye to people and places on your path because you're changing directions. I guess moving is what I'm good at. At an early age I was bit by the travel bug and the effects have been with me ever since. I like the adventure of the unknown road to newer and better things. I want to be called to action and enjoy it when I am.

The part I'm not so used to is staying put.

I've realized recently that it's ten times harder to be content and patient while staying still. Goodbyes are harder when everything has stayed the same, but you're missing someone. I'll just be honest, it's hard not to be the one taking off for a foreign country, a different mission field, or at least a new grad school campus (especially, in this economy). I'd rather be way too busy, than bored like I am here at home. I'd rather be learning in a new place, than admit I might have more to learn here where I'm comfortable. And I'd definitely rather have God tell me something specific to do, than have to be waiting around for His answers to my questions.

But Chris Tomlin's song has reminded me that my commitment to following Christ means that sometimes I'll be staying where He stays, instead of going anywhere. And you know what? I'm beginning to be okay with that.

On Success

2010-09-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

What is success really? How do you define this daunting word? The world says one thing; one thing we all know well, that we hear day after day.

"It's all about the money. The status. The power. It is all about giving them exactly what they want."

But who is this "them" who wants these things? And what if what you want isn't what "them" wants? And what about God? What about His wants?

If you tune out what the world says and listen more to what He says where does that leave you? If you're really, truly honest with yourself what do you think success means? What does it look like? Like money, status, and power? Or something else? What is success really?

And what would you have to do to gain it?

The Many "Me"s That Make Up My Life - Part 2

2010-09-18T21:45:00.000-07:00

As seen below, there are many different "me"s that make up who I am. When combined you get a full picture, but otherwise you only understand a part. Lately I've been learning that we like things too separate.

Think about it for a minute. If you're like my brother, you like different types of food to be on separate plates so that they don't have to touch each other before making their way to your mouth. If you're like my sister, you'd rather not have different groups of friends over to your house for the same party, because that could get awkward. And if you're like me, you want separate sticky notes for different categories of your scribbles, even if there's room for everything on one.

See? We like things separate.

It's easier that way. Not too messy. Simple.

But somehow I think that's dangerous. Don't get me wrong, being organized is a good thing! However, keeping things too separate, especially when it comes to pieces of your actual life, can be lonely. It's like making someone read a random section of your favorite book without giving them any context. That's frustrating, and to be honest, there are already too many people who will only understand one part of you anyway.

Allow me to invite you into my room right now. I'm sitting here alone in my empty house. I'm clearly the home me on the surface. To someone looking in at the moment, I know I give a very different impression than the me inside my own head. However, take a step into my mind for a minute and you'll see that besides thinking about this blog post, I'm thinking of the many job applications I've filled out this week and the many more left to be finished (work me), I'm thinking about my visit to Taylor coming up soon and all of my friends there without me (academic me), and I'm definitely thinking about the many Slovenes I met this summer who are still moving forward towards Christ (travel me). And even though I can hide those "me"s to the outside world and look like merely home me, I can never truly separate things inside my head or heart. There, I'm always just me.

But God didn't create us to be ourselves alone, inside our souls only to be understood by Him or ourselves. Instead, He gives us opportunities to be open with those around us and make friends who are able to see more than one of the pieces that make up who we are. True, some friends will only ever really see or understand one part of us, and that's okay. However, those who see, understand, and relate to more than one "me" are the ones you really want to keep around.

Because some things need to be separate (like doodles versus lists on sticky notes). But others are better understood when all together.

The Many "Me"s That Make Up My Life - Part 1

2010-09-14T22:37:00.000-07:00

My life at any given moment is a series of sections; small pieces of me that make up what I do, what I think, and essentially who I am.

There is home me who is an older sister and daughter. The one whose room is in the basement, who always has a book in her hand, and who is known to spit soup out of her mouth from laughing too hard at the dinner table on occasion. This me is independent, a little stir crazy, and either too relaxed or just bored most of the time. The one who is uncomfortably comfortable with being selfish. She struggles to be content, but is also super grateful for the security, warmth, and consistency of home.

There’s academic me. The one who knows what’s expected and is capable of pulling her weight. She likes studying, though she may complain, because she’s an idea person who likes hearing new things, thinking them through, and discussing them with peers. This me is responsible for the most part, but is smart enough to pair hard work with lots of fun. Not normally too stressed out, she enjoys the craziness of an ever changing dorm and plenty of friends. This is the me who is social, likes to write, and stays up way too late. She tries not to get overly obsessed with grades or competition and most of the time succeeds.

Then there is work me. Not super experienced, but a fast learner and consistent. This me tries hard to fit in and act professional, but feels like she’s playing a little girl’s pretend game of “Real World.” She is known as detail oriented and thorough, quiet but pleasant, and is always willing to do what’s asked of her. This me sometimes knows exactly what she wants and how to get it and at other times has no clue what she’s doing. She has to push herself to take initiative, but she’s usually up to the challenge. And though she likes working by herself, she is also more than willing to be a team player. Reading people well, getting along with them, and being easy going but organized makes people notice….sometimes.

And of course there’s travel me. Maybe the most content of them all, this me breathes easy, trusts a map, but enjoys adventure. She is the experienced one, the missionary kid with a fresh perspective on life and a smile on her face. This me absolutely hates when ignorant people joke about different races and nationalities, she is proud to be Canadian, and thinks that newspapers are too biased to give an accurate picture of what goes on in the world. She keeps track of license plates from different states on road trips, feels at home when on the move, and loves learning about different cultures. She’s been to a lot of places and can picture herself in many more. And somehow people on the other side of the world have captured her heart.

These are only some of the many “me”s that make up my life at this moment. What do your “me”s look like? More to come on this soon.

Dear Europe

2010-09-05T17:17:00.000-07:00

Dearest Europe,

I have something to confess. I don't say this lightly, but I'm kind of hopelessly in love with you. Every time I get to visit my heart leaps and every time I'm forced to say goodbye I miss you even more than the last time. I've only been gone from you for a month now, but it feels like so much longer.

I absolutely love the way you greet me with roses and chocolate on occasion, the fresh bread you make me in the mornings, and of course the gelato in the afternoons. Thank you for welcoming me into a life of laid-back adventure. The cobblestone roads you lead me down and the views of church spires and country-sides you have shown me over the years have stayed with me. No matter how hard I try I cannot forget the history lessons you've taught me -the art and culture. I appreciate the steady way you change while still remembering your past. Your faithful and welcoming heart is appreciated.

And more than anything else, you feel like home.
Thanks for that.

Amy

A Story on Heroes

2010-06-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a girl who thought she could change the world. This girl was everything a normal girl should be; she was smart, pretty, and sensitive. She grew up loving life and loving people, hoping that some day she would have the chance to be a hero.

More than anything else she wanted to save people.

Everywhere she looked people were starving when others had food. They were cold when others were comfortable. They were hurting when others were happy. The girl looked around and could not understand this. Why isn't someone doing something? she asked herself.

As she grew older, the girl continued to ask this. She hoped and wished that someone would step up and make a difference. Then she realized that she herself could. So, when she passed a beggar on the street in her city, she talked to him. She took time to learn his name, providing him with a blanket in the winter and handing him sandwiches when she knew he was hungry.

But the girl felt bad because she couldn't feed every starving person. She cried herself to sleep at night because she was comfortable when others were cold. All she wanted was for people to be genuinely happy! But all she could do was help this one man.

She doubted it would make a real difference. Yet, throughout the years she continued to serve him.

And one day, he began to ask a similar question to the girl's. The beggar wondered why if one little girl could change his life forever, others were not doing the same. Why am I not doing the same? he thought. Soon he knew what he had to do. He could help one other person and, in turn, they could help one more. The girl had taught him that.

Before the girl knew it, she had become a hero.

Graduation

2010-05-22T01:48:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I've graduated! Congrats class of 2010! We did it :)

What I've Learned at Taylor

2010-05-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

- College students really are a lot like babies. They sleep and eat at irregular times and have little responsibility.

- God is in the details. He goes before us and behind us.

- Spontaneity doesn't have to be an enemy... in fact, it almost always gets along with fun and always tells good stories.

- Whatever you do, don't be tempted to test the DairyQueen ads. Blizzards aren't that thick.

- Discipleship is all about intentionality.

- Confrontations, though sometimes difficult, are worth the effort at times.

- A leader can't lead until he knows where he's going. (I've written on this here.)

- People have interesting stories. You only have to ask the right questions and be willing to listen.

- Dr. H predicted the iPod before Dell invented it :)

- Pretzels + chocolate + peanut butter + ice cream = Ivanhoe's greatest idea

- One Tree Hill is artsy -I don't care what anyone else says!

- When in an argument with your spouse, just take off your clothes (Thank you Dr. Smith for that bit of wisdom!)

- DTRs should always take place while outside walking (bonus points if you're actually on the Loop).

- When falling off a horse, it may feel like you're moving in slow motion but you still won't be able to do anything to fix the situation until you hit the ground.

- Oxford is one of my favorite places on earth.

- God is in the middle of writing a better story than I could ever write myself.

- Making up songs, actions, and rhymes seriously helps with studying for tests -the stupider, the better!

- You can relate to just about anyone, all you have to do is be willing to talk to them enough to find common ground.

- Open houses are useless unless food is involved.

- Root beer can be just as much fun as real beer, without the next day hangover.

- Home is so much more appreciated after you've spent a significant time away from it.

- We live in phases -my entire college career can be classified into different tv shows, songs, and books my roommate and I have been obsessed with.

- Read alouds are still fun when you're grown up.

- Sometimes good discussions are more rejuvenating than sleep.

- God's plans are worth the sacrifice of leaving things behind. They're also worth the sacrifice of being left behind.

- Encouragement goes a long way. Using people's names, giving complements, or even just saying hi makes a difference.

- Figuring out your priorities is important, but consistently checking in to see how they are doing is even more important.

- Smash your idols, and when you look up and realize you've made more, smash them again.

- When change hits, people cope in many different ways and can go through stages all in the same day. If you're distant enough to have perspective, the psychology behind behavior in the midst of loss is really interesting!
- I am comfortable in the "new here" label. In fact, I think I might even like it.
- However, long-term investments are always worth working at.
- Four years of college go by way too quickly! Enjoy your days!
- You go to college for the education, but the people are what you'll remember.

...College has made me smarter!

On Saying Goodbyes

2010-05-05T09:55:00.000-07:00

I hate goodbyes. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. It’s awkward and difficult to let go of something you love. But it is human. Everyday people say hello, but they are also forced to say goodbye. They loosen their grasp on the one thing they wanted to hold onto forever and then they slowly release it for good. Sometimes getting it back later, other times not so lucky. Through tears and pain, they utter farewells, all the while wishing there was some way around it.

Standing at one’s doorstep staring at the dust that is left behind when a car rolls out of sight is never where one wants to be. Yet day after day we find ourselves in that exact spot. Standing and staring, because there is nothing else we could possibly do. Because there is a certain humanness to sacrifice, to leaving and to staying, to giving up.

But letting go, and saying goodbye, isn’t always a bad thing. Goodbyes mean progress. They bring growth and new challenges. They lead people down roads they may not travel otherwise. Roads to better places, to bigger opportunities, and to more sad goodbyes.

But goodbyes also bring us to more hellos.

Dear Sam

2010-04-27T19:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Sam Gamgee,

I’ve always been a fan of little people (I, myself am short). However, you are by far my favorite hobbit.

Word of your journey reached me through our friend Tolkien and the exciting tale is one I cannot forget. I admire the fact that what you lack in size, you make up for in loyalty and courage. Staying by Frodo’s side when he needed you the most was admirable and I assure you that both he and I are grateful for your friendship.

I only wish that I could come visit you myself. I would love to hear your side of the unexpected adventure, especially the part about seeing fairies. I always knew your dream would one day come true! However, Bywater is much too far for my feet to take me at this point in time. Thus, the best I can do is write you this letter.

Give my blessings to Rose and little Elanor, and stay healthy and happy yourself.

From one traveler to another,

-Amy

Ocean Blues

2010-04-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

If I could drink the ocean
And paint the whole world blue
Swimming every day away
I'd still miss you

If I could sail the globe
And always feel free
Floating past my worries
I wouldn't be happy

All the water on the planet
Would never be enough
To drown my hope of being
Just the two of us

So if I could drink the ocean
And paint the whole world blue
I would still be nothing
If I didn't have you

Spring Break 2010

2010-04-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Paradise is out there...

"Rejoice that your names are written in heaven." - Luke 10:20

Materialism

2010-03-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

In Zambia,
I looked
And saw
Bloated bellies,
Nakedness,
Empty eyes,
And hollowed hearts
-A lack of
Something.

In America,
I looked
And saw
Broadened bellies,
Promiscuity,
Envious eyes,
And heavy hearts
-Too much of
That same Something.

Dear Change

2010-03-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Change,

I know that I haven't always been very nice to you. There are days when you annoy me more than anything else -days when I don't want you in my life and can't even stand the thought of you. But that's selfish of me and I realize that. I'm sorry.

Looking back on things, I see that even when I have refused to be a good friend, you've been faithful. The truth is, you have been a loyal companion throughout my life, offering me adventure and fun when I gave you nothing. You've also given me plenty of opportunities to grow and learn. Because of you, I am more open to new things, more flexible and humble, and more aware of different perspectives. Overall, I appreciate you more than you could know.

I am confident that you are going to play a vital role in my future. Just as you have been in the past, you will be by my side after graduation. And you will continue to lead me down roads I've yet to travel. Roads I can't wait to travel! I'm excited and thankful that you're a part of my life. So, bring on the next great adventure!

Your friend,
Amy

I Am Fully Convinced...

2010-03-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

I am fully convinced that life is all about relationships. Life is making a stranger’s day by simply offering a smile. It is sitting beside a mother and her crying baby on an airplane and helping an old lady with her grocery bag on the way home from school. It’s waving to neighbors, talking to someone new at work, and watching two kids play in the park.

Life is all about relationships and what you choose to do with them. It’s lying on a bed beside your best friend, chatting until you lose track of time and not caring about sleep. It is swinging next to someone, feeling the air beneath your feet as you both float through the days. It is the people you laugh the hardest with and the ones you allow to see your deepest pain.

Life is all about relationships, what you choose to do with them, and how they shape you. It is being a witness to the change inside others, noticing the little things that make them unique. It is being willing to take chances, say hard things, and be present in good times and bad. And it is always working at being better.

Overwhelmed

2010-02-20T22:02:00.000-08:00

I admit it -I am overwhelmed right now.

Overwhelmed for many reasons.

Because of the desire to turn back time and the knowledge that the Timeless One had control even in old memories.

Because of the struggle I have to be motivated and initiate relationships and the opportunities I've had recently to really be engaged in the lives of those around me, enjoying deep discussions full of authenticity.

Because of the stress that comes with class after class and the peace I have through the One who makes me lie down in green pastures.

Because of the unknowns of the future that continues to grow near and the hope of the promise that my future has already been planned out.

Because of the longing to stay where I am at right now and the gratefulness that I've been here even this long.

A Story on Letting Go

2010-02-10T12:33:00.000-08:00

There once lived a man. His name was Tom. He was a good man; gentle and kind-hearted. And he was a romantic, with only one true love in life -a rose, tall and beautiful. Tom kept the rose under glass, making sure she was always cared for and protected. He would wake up every morning to see her standing on his dresser, and, smiling, he would say to her, "My dear flower, you are more beautiful today than the last time I looked at you!" The rose would bow as if to thank him, and he would take her outside to give her sunlight. He would bring her water when she was thirsty and give her shade when it was too hot. For years this went on, and Tom was genuinely happy.

Until one day, the sun became too hot and the water in the land dried up. It didn't rain for weeks on end. Though Tom did what he could, saving what little water he had for his rose, it wasn't enough for long. The rose soon lost the red that once pulsed through her petals, her stem's thorns that used to make her beauty even more apparent now seemed harsh, and the softness of her shape became horribly stiff. The life in her was gone forever.

But Tom paid no attention. For many more years he kept her on his dresser, greeting her every morning and kissing her goodnight when the moon came out. He continued to offer her water, even though she did not drink. But no matter how much he ignored the signs, deep down Tom knew what was clear to everyone -the rose, his rose, was lifeless.

Thirty years went by and Tom grew old until he, too, gave up on life. He was found in his home, tucked under the covers of his warm little bed. In his hand he still tightly grasped one thing -a rose, dead and gone.

The Potential for Greatness

2010-02-03T22:16:00.000-08:00

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - Les Brown

All around me I see the potential for greatness. Friends and family members surround me with the pleasure of knowing the power of that. I watch as they dream big, work hard, and succeed at giving me hope. They are like rockets just waiting to go off. Aimed for the moon.

Everyday I look around me and see their imperfect attempts at perfection. Yet they surprise me. When I least expect it, another rocket reaches the target. Another person uses his or her gifts in just the right way. A way that makes an uncontrollable smile arrive on my lips and linger there.

I know that they just as easily fail. That being a part of the better story takes time and effort. But there is the potential for greatness. It is inside the people who live their lives next to mine. And it is inside me. The natural desire to do more. To be more. We long for greatness. We crave it, thirst for it. We want to be the underdogs, the Davids and the Rockys, the one-in-a-million men who actually make it to the moon or at least fall among the stars.

Travel Tip #2 - Locke's Tip

2010-01-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

"A leader can't lead until he knows where he's going." - John Locke, season 1, episode 5 of LOST

LOST is a great show on many levels, but this scene with Locke and Jack is one of my all-time favorites. It's at the beginning, when characters are still figuring out who they are going to be, and the audience is wondering. Jack, in this particular episode, is struggling, chasing something, and wrestling with identity issues. He is questioning his strength and leadership capabilities. And it is here where John Locke offers him some great advice -the quote above.

And Locke is right. I've been on many trips, and although it is sometimes fun to freely explore the surroundings, wandering spontaneously without a plan, the best leaders always have a map to come back to. What is a building without structure? A school without some rules? A relationship without guidelines? I am convinced that everything in life is working toward a goal, whether we are aware of it or not. This is true for a good leader. No one's going to follow you, unless you first know where you're going and how to get there. So, take a look at the map.

10 Movies that Mean Something

2010-01-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

Over the past few weeks I have had more time on my hands than normal. This, of course, means that I have had the wonderful, relaxing priviledge of sitting for hours in front of the TV. So, it's only fitting that my next list should be about movies. Here are 10 that I have enjoyed, learned from, and replayed throughout the years:

~ (500) Days of Summer: Okay, so this is a new movie, which I've only seen once, but I loved it. The soundtrack, the skipping around of days, the witty dialogue all make this one I want to buy.

~ Elizabethtown: This may just be my ultimate favorite. I saw it for the first time this summer (I have no clue where I was when it really came out!) and watched it for a second time right after. It's kind of long, but so worth the watch. It has the best road trip scenes I have ever come across and there are tons of quotable parts!

~ Paycheck: My favorite action movie. It's easy enough to understand, invites you to figure things out along with the main character, and is not only about blowing things up, though there is that too.

~ The Dust Factory: This one is not as well known as most on this list. Plus, I've tried watching it with some of my friends and none of them understand my interest. I do admit, it's somewhat strange, but includes intriguing thoughts on Heaven and Hell and will definitely spur discussion.

~ Dan in Real Life: The most real romantic comedy I have ever seen. Steve Carell is hilarious in a much more subtle way than we're used to seeing him.

~ The Village: Utopian societies always peak my interest. Enough said...

~ Pride and Prejudice (the 5 hour BBC version): This had to be on the list. I don't think I could be considered a true reader, let alone a girl, if I didn't love this. I've only seen it once, but give me a bit of credit because I saw it in England. It's great how closely it sticks to the book and of course includes the wonderful wit of Darcy and Elizabeth.

~ Pride and Prejudice -A latter day comedy (the mormon version): Thanks to my roommate who has this on her favorites list, now I do too. The story is familiar but with a twist. It is a low budget film, but is high in quality.

~ That Thing You Do: If you haven't seen this, shame on you! It's classic. The music, the cast, the Oneders, the whole thing is a blast from the past, in the good way.

~ Red Eye: Creepy psychological thriller that's almost all talk and not action. I love how even when confined to two seats on an airplane, the dialogue can still completely scare you. The acting is great and the script reveals just how powerful words can be.

What movies are on your list?

Random Travel Tip #1 - Single Steps

2010-01-20T12:39:00.000-08:00

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao Tzu

Let's face it, the first step is always the hardest. I don't know about you, but every day I find myself in the exact same position. Whether it's having the stamina to wake up in the morning, the self-control to pick the healthy food at meal time, or the drive to keep my priorities straight, I am continually fighting to start moving. But I've come to the realization that once moving, it's easy to continue.

Once I am finally out of bed for the day, I am good to go. In fact, it's normally difficult to get myself back to sleep when the next night arrives. After I pick out a healthy meal, I eat it, enjoy it, and usually feel satisfied enough to do it again. As for keeping my priorities straight, the more time I spend at the prayer chapel, gym, or library, the more time I want to spend in those places.

I'm guessing the trip to gain knowledge or health isn't the exact scenario Tzu had in mind when he came up with his wise words. But any journey begins with a single step. With the willingness and determination to lift your feet off the front porch and onto the road, anything is possible. You never know when your own steps will take you a thousand miles. And even if you don't get that far, at least you'll be a step closer.

Oxford

2010-01-14T13:48:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with a place
That isn't here
Somewhere far away
Distant and surreal
With pastel buildings
And spires made of dreams
I long with a passion
To be back in this scene
The miles of cobblestone
Layers of fog
The details on gateways
And swans at the pond
The cheese and the chocolate
And thinkers of old
I'm in love with this city
Far away down the road

Mist

2010-01-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

On the road you travel

There will sometimes be mist

One minute you can see clearly

The next all certainty is gone

The fog gets thick

And you can no longer see

More than two steps

In front of you

You cautiously follow

What you hope you will find

After the next step

One foot in front of the other

Until it is suddenly clear again

Dear Friend

2010-01-08T22:13:00.000-08:00

Dear friend,
You may not know me well yet, or maybe you've known me forever, but either way I think it's about time I say thank you.
Thank you for the way you always look me in the eyes, even before I know who you are.
For the smiles you send my direction and the intentional way you call me by name as soon as you know it.
Thanks for the genuine excitement you have whenever you see me.
The dinner discussions, the coffee dates, and the midnight chats make me smile with content every time.
Your eye rolls in class make me laugh and so do the many times you voice exactly what I'm thinking.
Traveling together, learning together, serving together, makes my life great.
Just so you know, I'm grateful that you hug me even though I squirm. That in spite of my complaints you push me to be better. The times you criticize me make a difference.
Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. For sticking by me on the bad days, not merely the good ones.
Thanks for the inside jokes, the insightful comments, the secret sharing.
I love the fact that you humor me, listening one too many times to the same story, being patient when I need to rant or talk something through.
You daily teach me loyalty, accountability, and community.
I am so glad that you are here.
That you invite me out. Invite me in.
You might not always feel like that great of a friend. Like what you do or who you are matters.
But it does.
I've noticed. And so,
Thank you!
Yours truly,
Amy

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T13:52:00.000-08:00

2010.

The 2 times I looked at my watch and wondered why I couldn't just go to bed before midnight.

The os of surprise as we played stupid party games.

The knowledge that 1 night celebrating, 1 year behind us, and 1 life ahead is a gift.

The waiting for the next time there will be 0 days before the new year.

Comfort and Joy

2009-12-20T12:35:00.000-08:00

I've heard a lot about comfort and joy recently. After all, it is that time of year.

But, as I've stood in candlelight services and sung Christmas carols with family and friends I've been aware of the irony. Though we sing about bright lights and silent babies, I can't get out of my mind the facts of the biblical Christmas story. For it seems, we've strayed quite a bit from what actually happened.

For one thing, Mary, Joseph, and those poor shepherds must have been really freaked out what with angel visitations, strange dreams/prophesies, and signs that a baby was on its way. I know the angel said "Have no fear," but really? How would you react when some man appears to you out of nowhere?

And no room in the inn has become nothing more than a cute saying to us. Though I'm sure at the time not having a place to stay while Mary was bursting at the seams ready to give birth would have been stressful. Animals and a manger may make nice nativity scenes for us to sell in stores and put in our front yards, but a stable is really no place for a newborn baby. Just think about what it must have smelled like!

Christmas comes with lots of talk about peace on Earth and joy to all men, but what has hit me hard this year is this:

In order for us to have comfort, and the entire reason we can talk seriously about those themes, is because Jesus was willing to sacrifice His own comfort. Of course He was a special child, but He grew up knowing His purpose was to die.

And with that knowledge He was born into discomfort, cried as a baby, and took the weight of the world on His shoulders.

Peace on Earth?
Yeah, there will be.

'Tis The Season...

2009-12-03T09:23:00.000-08:00

-For midnight caffeine fixes to aid in the cramming
-For giant blow up snow globes and bright lights
-For white salt residue on your pant legs
-For slipping on ice and catching flakes on your tongue
-For predicting the endings of Falalala Lifetime movies
-For mini marshmallows floating in seas of hot chocolate
-For too much peppermint and red and white stripes
-For twinkletoes and little toy makers
-For shaking presents and guessing games
-For an old jolly man to check his list twice
-For spreading joy and cheesy jingles
-For sentimental wishes, hopes, and dreams

-And most of all for one gift sent long ago, that makes the rest of this list worth celebrating too.

Christmas 2009 is almost here!

Before the Fall

2009-11-20T22:33:00.000-08:00

There's always that moment before something bad happens.

That moment where time slows and you think to yourself, "Is there anything I can do to make this better?" The moment when you almost feel super-human, but are still very much aware of the fact that you're not. That moment in which you are both strangely relaxed and extremely anxious. The moment when you know that all you can do is wait for the fall.

Wait and wonder how bad it'll actually be once you hit the ground.

There's always that moment before something bad happens.

The Randomness of My Mind

2009-11-09T19:51:00.000-08:00

*Otherwise known as the thoughts I've been thinking recently*

A list:
~We've all grown up with people in our lives and have been taught from an early age how friendship is supposed to work. However, it always surprises me how little I really know about how to make friends. Sometimes people come into my life and will not leave. Other times they pass in and out of my days (like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in that You've Got Mail montage) without ever staying put long enough for me to say more than hi. There are the people I really want to get to know but can never seem to connect with and others who give me all the time in the world. Relationships are messy, confusing, and frustrating, but are also one of the greatest gifts God has given us. Take advantage of them -no matter what level your friendships are at!

~Why do I ALWAYS have the travel bug? Honestly, though I love Taylor to death, my mind is always traveling to other places. I guess that's what happens to you when your parents decide to drag your kid self to the other side of the ocean... you never really come back. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) It doesn't help that half the girls on the wing are growing excited about J-term and study abroad trips and that my parents and sister are traveling a ton this month!

~Africa grabbed a piece of my heart unexpectedly during high school. Every once in a while, like today in chapel, it continues to excite me. But I never know quite what to do with the nagging.

~I hate how Thanksgiving is so close to Christmas Break. How do they seriously expect us to come back from eating turkeys with our families, only to concentrate for a couple weeks, turn and go all the way home again?! All I can say is Canadians do it right!

~Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson have an awesome album out called Break Up. Buy it, give it to friends, and listen your ears off. Yeah, it's that worth it : )

~I want to bring my current church (Exit 59 for those of you wondering) with me when I graduate. I love the preaching style, the energy, and the young leaders there and wish I had the time (and transportation) it takes to get more involved. Sadly, I don't. But I hope wherever I end up in Futureland that there's a church like Exit.

That's all I've got in me at the moment. More wanderings next time.

She Took Some and Ate It... and Will Again

2009-11-02T19:13:00.000-08:00

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do -this I keep on doing." - Paul, Romans 7:15, 17-19

Just as Paul says, I'm conflicted. On a daily basis I see two laws at work. The law of sin and God's law are constantly waging war against my soul. My heart and head both know what's right, but over and over again I reach out and pick the fruit. That stupid forbidden fruit that floods my life with a bitter taste. Yet I take the bite, and tomorrow I'll take another. The poison is now so deeply rooted in my being that it continues to spread. Quickly. When I am surrounded by a garden of plenty, I still want more. When the One I trust most says no, I still say yes. And this is my strongest fear, my greatest pain: that I would know the truth, but live a lie. Owning the key to freedom, but staying comfortably in my prison.

Until the day I rot.

10 Books That Mean Something

2009-10-27T16:09:00.000-07:00

A while ago I wrote a post about songs that mean something to me. I think it's about time for another list like that, so here are my thoughts on 10 books.

~"Here's to Hindsight" by Tara Leigh Cobble: This memoir really came out of nowhere. Although Cobble is a pretty well-known Christian singer/songwriter, I had never heard of the book. It actually just happened to catch my eye one day at the bookstore and I ended up buying it. The easy-going conversation feel to each page caught my interest instantly and I could relate to the stories and lessons Tara shares. It has become one of my favorites that I would (and do) gladly share with friends.

~"Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck: I've said this before and I'll say it again: I never knew that sounding manly and poetic at the same time was possible, but Steinbeck proves it is. I'm a big fan as I could pretty much love anything he's written.

~"Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" by Ann Brashares: Cheesy, I know, but I can't help but love this series. Brashares captures the heart of friendship and creates characters who are well-developed and easy to love.

~"Boy in the Striped Pajamas" by John Boyne: I can't say too much about the plot line since it's better if you don't know before you start reading this. So, all I will say is that it got me thinking about an old topic in a new way. The ending is amazing and even though I never cry while reading, this book made me tear up.

~"The Giver" by Louis Lowery: Best utopian novel I've ever read! It kept me guessing and turning pages. Plus, it's kid friendly : )

~"Perelandra" by C.S. Lewis: As Lewis is one of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time, it's difficult to choose just one book of his to put on this list. However, this is the one I'd have to say right now. Though I hated "Out of the Silent Planet," the first in this science trilogy, this one is amazing. The reason I know this: I read it over half a year ago and I still think about it on a daily basis.

~"Nocturne" by Adam Rapp: A play that was pretty much the highlight of my summer. It's a sad story and not really that strong plot-wise, but I absolutely loved Rapp's writing. This is a man who understands the power of words.

~"Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson: Not a book I necessarily recommend because of its subject, but it was a well-written, haunting story that has stuck with me.

~"Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott: Best book on writing I've ever read, and believe me, I've read quite a few!

~"Blue Like Jazz" (and really any other book) by Donald Miller: He is a conversationalist who I honestly feel like I know. Miller makes difficult topics seem simple and says simple things in deep ways. Definitely worth your time, even when you don't agree with everything!

There's my list. What books are on yours?

Who Is Your Neighbor?

2009-10-19T17:47:00.000-07:00

I am the human waking up each morning in a house just like yours. I am the baby crying in the stroller you passed on the sidewalk. I am the restless teenager searching for meaning and the teacher attempting to open eyes. I’m the tired and the dreaming, the lazy and the bored. I am the one working hard to get what I want -money, attention, power. I am the longing. The single mom living in constant chaos. The soldier risking life in a far off land. The business man sitting in an office day in and day out. I am the poor, the oppressed, the rich, and greedy. I am the man you pass by every day without noticing. The struggling artist settling for quantity instead of quality. I am the quiet and the humble, the bold and outspoken. I am the sick. I am the girl walking your campus halls alone. The guy you think has it all together. I am the loving and the unloved. The peaceful and the impatient. I am one who thinks I’m not enough. I am the broken. The sinful.

And yet... I'm the one He loves. The created being. The unique, blameless, and blessed. I am the cared for and the righteous. He died for me.

Who is your neighbor? I am.

Thoughts on Images

2009-10-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

"Not my idea of God, but God. Not my idea of H., but H. Yes, and also not my idea of my neighbor, but my neighbor. For don't we often make this mistake as regards people who are still alive -who are with us in the same room? Talking and acting not to the man himself but to the picture -almost the precis- we've made of him in our own minds? And he has to depart from it pretty widely before we even notice the fact. In real life -that's one way it differs from novels- his words and acts are, if we observe closely, hardly ever quite 'in character,' that is, in what we call his character. There's always a card in his hand we didn't know about." - A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is it possible to miss someone more when they are right beside you than when they’re gone? When they are exactly where you’ve wished for them to be for so long, but something’s missing. When you’re close enough, you could reach out and touch them, but you don’t. And the words you’ve recited over and over again in your mind won’t come. Is it possible to long so deeply for closeness with someone that you will always be disappointed with your actual distance? When no one lives up to the standards in your dreams and all that you find when you look around are broken images.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Everyone is senseless and without knowledge; every goldsmith is shamed by his idols. His images are a fraud; they have no breath in them." - Jeremiah 10:14 (NIV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This summer I went to a dance show at Millennium Park in Chicago. The dancers were amazing artists who performed well and were a pleasure to watch. I sat with my mom and sister in one of the front rows, but when we got up to leave a bit early, something caught my attention: a huge crowd of people were sitting in front of the large screen set up for people to see better from a distance. However, these people were not far from the actual stage, in fact turning their heads a little to the left would have given them a great view. Instead of enjoying the real thing, these fans preferred mere images.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation." - Colossians 1:15 (NIV)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have seen the true Image, why settle for worshipping anything less?

I Feel Most Myself When...

2009-10-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

~ I am snuggled into the backseat of a mini van with headphones in

~ There are photos of friends and family nearby

~ I am at Malenovice during a Josiah Venture conference

~ Donald Miller, C.S. Lewis, John Steinbeck, and Ann Brashares books are on my shelf

~ Walking the loop around campus with my roommate

~ Watching Elizabethtown, Dan in Real Life, old sit-com reruns, or Lost

~ I'm a part of a large crowd and can observe other people

~ I am drinking a Tazo Passion Shaken Iced Tea at Starbucks

~ Listening to The Weepies, John Mayer, The Fray, Regina Spektor, or Missy Higgins

~ Swimming laps or ice skating

~ Writing poems late at night

~ I am wearing my Rocket Dogs, a hoodie, and jeans

~ Walking on cobblestone roads and eating a caramel Magnum ice cream bar

~ Splitting a piece of Adam's Peanut Butter Ripple Cheesecake with my brother

~ Helping my mom make cereal snacks or Swedish hardbread

~ Worshiping God at a church with stained glass windows and old steeples

~ People around me are speaking different languages or at least have accents

~ Shopping on the Magnificent Mile in Chicago

~ Sitting in the audience of a play (especially when my sister is in it)

~ Studying something new that challenges the way I think

A Day Like Today

2009-10-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

On a day like today the weather decides to calm down and give us what we love about Fall. Waking up early to go to breakfast feels more like a treat than a chore. The test in that surprisingly challenging class is ready to be aced and the scarf you threw on this morning gets you a lot of compliments. You have enough free time to get ahead in your homework, to mark tasks off of your to-do list, and even watch a cheesy movie on YouTube. The emails in your inbox give you the opportunities to serve others, attend fun events, and hang out with your wing. The weekend is coming and although you have nothing planned you know it'll be a good one. Work is slow, but the time goes fast anyway because people you haven't seen for a while come by to chat. Meals in the cafeteria are better than normal and the group at your table makes you laugh. The semester is in full swing, you should be tired but aren't, and Fall Break is coming soon! On a day like today, I'm happy that it's Fall.

How the Mighty Have Fallen

2009-09-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

How the mighty have fallen In this age of relativity
On the battlegrounds of laziness
The careless have won
With an air of tolerance
The ignorant make peace
Believing in almost anything
While the fearful and weak
Spew their unlawful lies
At anyone who listens
And the innocent fight
Though not as they seem
Digging whitewashed tombs
In seas of green
Scorned by the shrill,
The grand, and the wise
Are those who seek attention
In another's eyes
Here's to the death
Of truth, love; God
Such a year when
The mighty have fallen

A Story on Comfort

2009-09-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a land very much like the one outside your window, there was a girl named Hallie. Hallie was your average teenager in the twenty-first century who surfed the net too often, read People magazine, and listened to Rihanna on the radio.

However, one thing made her different than others -she lived on a couch. It wasn't that she didn't have a real home. She did. And it wasn't that she had health issues. She didn't. And it definitely wasn't that the couch was magical or somewhat out of the ordinary. It wasn't. In fact, Hallie's mom had talked of getting rid of it for ages. But the puffy brown couch still sat taunting Hallie whenever she stepped off it to go to school or get something to eat.

So, there Hallie sat most of the time. As days turned to months and summer to winter. There she sat as her brother graduated from high school and her dad got promoted. She knew this couch inside and out. Sometimes, when everyone else was asleep she would turn over its pillows or take them off completely. Yet she would always put them back on and continue to sit.

She sat there through her parents' failed attempts at bribery and her sister's pleas to come play. When her dog got hit by a car, she sat hugging a pillow instead of Sparky. While her sister was on her first date, Hallie swung her feet with thoughts of love. And when a classmate invited her to a party, she went home and sat instead.

And that is where this story ends. On a couch inside a house. There Hallie spent her life.

At least she was comfortable.

Questions On My Mind

2009-09-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

- Why can't I get Oxford out of my head, no matter what I do?

- What will it take for me to pass French?

- Who should I invest in this year?

- What do I still have to learn at Taylor?

- Where am I going next?

- Who is coming with me? : )

Dear Taylor Student

2009-09-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Taylor Student (you can put your name here),

As I begin my senior year here in the cornfields, I'm prone to reflect back on what I've learned during my college years so far and look forward to the lessons I'll still learn before I leave. Maybe you are like me, with only one year left to take advantage of Taylor's many opportunities. Or you might be a freshman, like my brother, not knowing what God has in store for your next four years or even the next four days. Whether you fall into one of these categories or find yourself somewhere in between, these are the lessons I hope you and I will both learn before we graduate.

I hope you learn that living life together is much better than living life alone. That in spite of the difficulties that come with relationships, they're worth it. God made us for community. I hope you find that while here on campus. That through meals, wing events, small groups, and spontaneous bursts of energy you will see God in others. That you get a lot out of community and give back even more.

I hope you learn more about who you are while at Taylor. That through getting involved in student leadership you learn how to be a leader. That you figure out where you are going and help others to get there with you. I hope you attend chapels and find a local church. That you might base your identity on Christ alone and not on the brand names of our culture or the stereotypes of society. I hope you challenge yourself daily as a Christ follower, student, classmate, and friend.

I hope you learn what's important to you. Prioritizing well when the busyness of life tries to pull you down. That you place value on what God values and that when the time comes to stand up for your beliefs your faith does not waver. I hope you find what you are passionate about and never let it go. That you use your talents and shape your gifts. And that you live it all to the glory of God.

Most of all, I hope you learn that you are loved. That no matter where you go in life after college, you will never be alone. That whatever problems life throws at you, they aren't nearly as big as the One who created you. I hope you know that this life is not the end. That you learn to live with heaven in mind and take time to see God's beauty while still on earth.

I hope you learn all this and more during your time at Taylor.

Love and blessings as you begin another school year,
Amy

10 Songs That Mean Something

2009-08-23T20:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's about time for another list. Since music has been on my mind recently, here are 10 songs that mean something to me (in no particular order).

~ "Plain" by Zoegirl: A good reminder about beauty and self image from my first favorite band ever.

~ "Whenever You Remember" by Carrie Underwood: Here's to my childhood memories and the friends of my past. It was fun while it lasted!

~ "Looking for the Holes" by Ani DiFranco: The perfect inspiration to get off the couch and do something from a poet I admire.

~ "You Found Me" by The Fray: An overplayed plea for help that still puts a smile on my face every time I hear it.

~ "Think of You" by A Fine Frenzy: The song for those in my thoughts, miles away.

~ "A Movie Script Ending" by Death Cab for Cutie: Great road trip song, enough said.

~ "Season" by Jenny and Tyler: Sung by two truly genuine artists who don't get the credit they deserve.

~ "Instead of a Show" by Jon Foreman: I love how Foreman's lyrics come right from Scripture. And this song sums up what I feel about the church most of the time these days.

~ "For My Love" by Bethany Dillon: One of the most honest love songs I've ever heard. Plus, I had to have Bethany on this list for old time's sake.

~ "Thinking Over" by Dana Glover: I've never been in love, but when I am I imagine my thought process will go something like this. It's how I already make all of my other decisions.

So, there you have it. Now I'd like to hear your list.

*Disclaimer: Music is such a huge and influential part of life, we don't always even realize what a major role it plays. Because this is so true in my own life, I had trouble picking only ten songs and there are many more that could be added to this list.*

To the Ones Left Behind

2009-08-10T20:24:00.000-07:00

Breathing in

Shapes of you

To fill my empty soul

I love, I long

To cover up

This now familiar hole

Goodbye Colorado

2009-08-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

No more mountains for me : (

Lessons Learned in Colorado

2009-07-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

So, I've been in Colorado for a month now. I'll be sad to leave it on Monday, but I won't be leaving without taking some lessons with me. Here's what I've learned at MTI, Focus on the Family, and everywhere in between over the past few weeks.

~ Big change becomes normal soon enough. Funny how that works, but this fact gives me peace every time I think about graduating next spring.

~ I'm in love with words. I guess I've always known this, but it's nice to be reminded every once and a while.

~ Colorado sky could keep me excited for life. The clouds, stars, rainbows, colors.... Who cares about the mountains? The sky is freakin' awesome!

~ Driving isn't as difficult as I initially thought. As long as I have enough gas, a Starbucks, and The Weepies with me, I'm good.

~ Joy can be found in simple things. Just take a closer look at a one-year-old.

~ Fellowship can happen pretty much anywhere at any time and with anyone. And strangers can easily become close friends when out of their comfort zone.

~ Sharing is caring : )
One of the many lessons I've taught the MTI kiddos since arriving.

~ Cubicles could possibly be the end to me when I start working full time. I guess I'm more of a socialite than I thought!

~ An author is only as good as the people who stand behind her.

~ Push is an interesting movie and 7 Pounds doesn't explain why it's called that.

~ God has a way of directing people to cross paths when needed the most. More than any other summer, I've been given a lot of opportunities to hang out with and talk to people I know will play a role in my future.

~ Reading is fun. But reading in order to discuss material is even funner!

~ Hiking is a good analogy for life. I never really understood why until I hiked 4 hours up a CO mountain.

Those are just some of the random things I've been learning recently. What has God been teaching you?

Reese's Cups

2009-07-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

So, I just had a Reese's peanut butter cup. You know how they always come in one of those paper cup thingys? Well, this one came in 21 of them! Does anyone else find this odd?

The Power of You and Me

2009-07-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

Verse: When the sky is so blue
You can almost see through it
To reach the stars
And the air is so clear
I can feel you near me
You're not that far
That far

Chorus:
Though we're miles apart
Today you'll stay
Right here
In my heart

Verse:
Funny how it goes
The waves ebb and flow down
To the sea
And the mountains are bold
As we grow older
You're still with me
With me

Bridge:
Rainbows may fall
The earth could stand still
The oceans and valleys
Fight as they will
Distance can call all it wants
But nothing can ever stop
The power of you and me

*Written as a song. Sorry the tune's only in my head : )

Boy + Balloon

2009-07-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a boy with a balloon?

Today, I did. To give you the specifics, the boy was a one-year-old named Isaac. And the balloon was yellow.

Hand a boy a balloon and you'll probably be given in return a huge, cheeky grin and a look that says, "I've been waiting my entire life for this moment!" Then, allow that boy to play with the balloon as much as he wants and he'll be your best friend for eternity.

Give a boy a balloon and you will learn the joy of simplicity. You will experience the wide-eyed twinkle of a small miracle. You will observe the pudgy wave of a goodbye to the ordinary. And the more he plays, the more you'll wonder why you can't be more like him.

I hope you find your own balloon, grab onto it, and never let it go.

Thoughts on Talent and Passion

2009-07-16T12:34:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I watched a pair of my favorite dancers on the show "So You Think You Can Dance" perform an amazing contemporary piece that portrayed a love story between two friends. By the end, the judges and performers had tears in their eyes, the crowd was going wild, and I could not help but smile.

A few minutes later, I excitedly told a friend of mine about the dance. But, unlike me she wasn't too thrilled. Instead, she asked, "Why do you even get so excited about this? I don't see what the big deal is."

Her question got me thinking. Why do I love shows like this as much as I do? Why am I completely content when I see performances like this one?

Well, after much contemplation I think I've figured it out. There is a joy that wells up inside of me every time I see something like the dance last night for three main reasons.

1) I love to see people using their gifts and talents.

I can't remember a time when I didn't love this. Whether it's in the realm of art, sports, leadership or something completely different, I have always been fascinated by the variety of talent God has given people. I'm continually amazed at everything humans are capable of doing as creatures of a creative God.

2) I love to see people producing quality work.

Using the gifts you've been given is great, but what's even better is when people are using their gifts to produce quality. In our consumer culture, it's really easy to settle for mediocrity because we want things now. However, quality work is what really speaks to people. And taking this one step farther, for us as Christians, quality is what God expects of us. We are to do everything as though doing it for Him. With this in mind, I get excited when I see people living up to their potential.

3) I love to see people passionate about something.

This gets to the tears of last night. When people care about what they are doing, it shows. And more than that, their passion is contagious. I can't dance for the life of me. I don't know all of the technical terms and can't even always tell whether someone is on beat or not. But I can tell when they love what they're doing. Last night, the dancers cared. Because they cared, the judges and the crowd cared. And because of all of that, I, sitting at home on a comfy chair, cared.

For these three reasons, I enjoyed the dance last night. I can now explain to my friend why I think TV shows like "So You Think You Can Dance" matter. But more than that, I hope this challenges you to use your God-given gifts and passions. Dream big, work hard, and be the best you can be -at whatever it is you do.

Summer Goals

2009-05-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

~Practice guitar at least 3 hours a week. ~Read the Old Testament's prophets that I tend to skip over.
~Watch 10 classic movies that I've never seen before.
~Drive enough to feel comfortable behind the wheel.
~Write my roommate a letter every week.
~Pray a lot about the future.
~Have at least 10 good phone chats.
~Take 20 creative photographs.
~Find out as much as possible about Focus's book department.
~Read 5 plays.
~Brush up on my French skills. I'm going to need them!
~Make money!
~Figure out goals for my senior year.
~Write on this blog as much as possible.

The Pilgrim's Journey

2009-04-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

(Thanks to Brad and Katie for the picture)

Carry your chains
Go on, my friend
Up the mountain
Of hardship and pain
Trek on, my friend
Through the dead valleys
The forests and the rain
I know the burden’s heavy
And the road will not be straight
But continue up the mountain
And I’m sure you’ll find your way

Carry your chains
Walk on, my friend
To the city
Of promise and gold
Press on, my friend
For longer still
Doing as you’re told
I know the world will argue
And at times you will grow faint
But continue to the city
And I’ll meet you at the gate

One Final Visit

2009-04-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

Here am I
At the alter of past memories
Ready to confess.
I once worshipped
Faded melodies of distant ghosts;
Grasped sunny days of long ago,
Crumpled photographs,
Echoed words;
And fought to keep
Above the tow of shifting shadows
Yet, I refuse to continue
Chasing an unreal heaven
Gone from view
Thus a match I strike
To light my old obsession
Burning pages of my prayers
Before I walk away